Are you the ultimate Sidge Girlie? Take this quiz to find out
Where does Sidge Girlie end and I begin?
The infamous Sidge Girlie: inspirer of Camfesses, wearer of skinny scarves. She is the scapegoat for all the perceived annoying attributes of Arts students, and her notoriety echoes through the dusty halls of Cambridge.
Are you the ultimate Sidge Girlie? Count up how many of these 50 things apply to you, and let’s find out!
The Sidge Girlie:
- Exclusively shops on Depop or Vinted.
- Has a nose piercing.
- Vapes in the library.
- Watches TikToks about “female rage”.
- Is bisexual.https://twitter.com/ariasagay/status/1123681771789389824?s=20
- Adds the suffixes “-core, -pilled or -coded” to everything.
- Was weirdly into French existentialism when she was 16.
- Is an oat milk enthusiast.
- Spends £100 pcm in coffee shops.
- Feels targeted by this tweet:https://twitter.com/freshhel/status/1438258971685523456?s=20
- Owns a maxi denim skirt.
- Regularly wears double denim.
- Wears headphones for aesthetic reasons.
- Has a private story full of the misadventures of her sex life, interspersed with pics of her crying and doing the peace sign.
- Wears Adidas Hamburgs/ Onitsuka Tigers/ black high-top Converse.
- Listens to Mitski/ Phoebe Bridgers/ Fiona Apple.
- Has a STEM boyfriend OR is in a situationship with a Blue.
- Doesn’t wear a bra.
- Owns a Charlotte Tilbury Light Wand.
- Scoffs at the idea of manifestation but secretly likes TikToks which say “he will profess his love for you tomorrow, interact to claim.”
- Is really into sushi.
- Has bleached her eyebrows (and immediately regretted it).
- Loooooooves framing their essays around the female body/ female sexuality.
- Has written an essay with “queering the narrative” in the title.
- Has an air of carefully-cultivated “effortlessness” à la Serena van der Woodsen.
- Walks everywhere.
- Loves Junction.
- Rolls cigs.
- Mixes gold and silver jewellery.
- Drinks matcha lattes.
- Carries a film camera with her at all times.
- Has communist stickers on her MacBook.
- Is a Foucault-enjoyer.
- Regularly wears low-rise jeans.
- Strongly identifies with one of Lana del Rey’s albums (I’m NFR).
- Drinks pints.
- Loves A24 films.
- Is a victim of micro-trends.
- Has been to Italy within the last year (bonus points if it’s Lake Como).
- Wears either big funky 70s sunglasses or small chic 90s ones.
- Is super into HBO Sundays.
- Gets UTIs all the time.
- Drinks vodka crans at pres.
- Accidentally destroyed her attention span by spending too much time on TikTok.
- Is convinced she has ADHD.
- Has curtain bangs (excuse the Americanism- curtain fringe doesn’t have the same ring).
- Strongly relates to one of the girls in Girls (she’s probably a Hannah).
- Has taken an “am I gay?” quiz in a moment of crisis.
- Reads Simone de Beauvoir for fun.
- Is from North London.
How many did you get?
If you got:
<15 = Sorry babe, you can’t sit with us. You’re either a STEM imposter or a West Hub Girlie trying to assert her superiority.
15-25 = A Sidge Girl-lite. A diet Sidge Girl, if you will. Visit more charity shops, listen to more Shoegaze and read more Virginia Woolf and you too might be able to graduate to a fully-fledged Sidge Girlie!
25-35 = A certified Sidge Girlie. You probably bought a crochet balaclava last winter, paint your nails silver and insist that Boygenius are sooo underrated. However, you have a self-aware detached irony about your identity as a Sidge Girl. You must embrace your destiny: become the ultimate Sidge Girlie.
35+ = The ULTIMATE Sidge Girlie. Vintage shops close their shutters as you walk by, coffee shops run out of ice as soon as you step over the threshold, scarves become skinny as you glance judgementally at their owners, and your boyfriend cries in the corner while you declare that you are attracted to every woman ever and, like, maybe two men. The world is yours for the taking.
The Sidge Girlie is but an idea: it is up to you to make it a reality.
Featured image credits: Kirsty Falconer