In defence of the 26 pairs of shoes that I bring to uni

My mother once gave me some sound advice: a woman can never have enough shoes or handbags. I took this quite literally. I have accumulated around 45 pairs of shoes, all of which I wear regularly. I have to be somewhat selective when I pack for uni – just two large tubs. Narrowing my selection is always an arduous and agonising process, but I just about manage. And trust me, 26 is the bare minimum…

Heels

The bare necessities

Heels are obviously an essential for a girl who stands at a disappointing five foot one. I think a lot of people are under the impression I'm taller than I actually am, because they're so used to seeing me in high heels. Not that I'm complaining – I'm happy to keep up the illusion.

All of the above are absolutely essential. Who could live without black chunky boots? Who could live without purple sparkly chunky boots? Who could live without purple sparkly stilettos for that matter?!

Trainers to match any outfit

An extensive array

One of my worst nightmares is an uncoordinated outfit. The thought of it makes my stomach churn. This is why I own green, red, pink, blue, black and brown trainers.

Did you know? The trainers on the right hand side formerly belonged to my then thirteen-year-old brother… shoes can be found in unlikely places.

Two pairs of pink trainers

There IS a difference

Ok, so this one is a little harder to rationalise, but I do wear both pairs very regularly. The pair on the left are pricier, newer and nicer. I try to keep it that way. Meanwhile, the pair on the right I've had for years, so I wear them if I know my shoes will get dirty. See? I can justify it…

And finally, the importance of maintaining my usual edginess

No one can be as cool as me

Some shoes are just too edgy to leave at home. These rose-gold platform brogues are my pride and glory. Perhaps they're not necessary in the conventional sense of the word, but for me, being edgy is a way of life. And therefore, these extraordinary shoes are without a doubt an essential.

And I don't hesitate to tell the world that these shoes cost me FIVE POUNDS. Yup, you heard it. FIVE POUNDS.

Don't even bother aspiring to be as cool as me. You won't get very far.