Hello and welcome to the first day of the 2014 May Bumps! The Tab are here to bring you all the info from the riverbank.

| UPDATED 2014 cam Cambridge ed smith Jack Anderson may bumps Oxford river Rowing Tab


Welcome to our LIVE coverage of May Bumps. Over the next four days, we’ll be tweeting and blogging from the river to give you up to-the-minute coverage of the entire event. Build up, in-race info, comments and analysis, it’s all here. To get involved, tweet @TabSport or use the #MayBumps hashtag, email [email protected] or comment below. We would love as many pictures, videos and stories as possible so please get in touch. As always you can also listen to live commentary of every race with CamFM.

Only about five minutes away!

19.35- Just waiting for the four minute cannon for the M1 division. Excited to see if Pembroke can maintain their fantastic run and also to see if LMBC can make a famous bump on Downing. Is today the day?! Lets see…

Watching the M1 crews row down to the starting positions! Haven’t seen this big a gun collection since I visited an armory… The balance of these boats is absolutely incredible looking from an M4 boat rowers position. First and third coming past now… also known as the spoon barge…

Mighty LMBC W1 have managed to bump again, along with Caius and Girton W1! Girton W1 going for blades! They will be excited for tomorrows race. The majority of boats rowed over. Both Clare and Downing rowed over at the top meaning Clare are on for blades and the head of the river.

Selwyn also scoring a bump before first post corner. Another fantastic piece of effort. Taking a bump before reaching this first challenge for the coxes requires both power and a good technique. Lets hope to see some of that in the men’s division!

My apologies for the spelling never had to type that fast in my life! All crews looked very powerful! David Jones got so excited he cycled after them! He will be back soon with news on the events of that race. All I can say for sure right now is that Caius were closing in for a bump and Queens bumped the boat ahead of them.

W1 are off with Downing leading the pack maintaining one and a half lenghts ahead of Emmanuel. Then Clare one and half liengths behind. Cauis making big gains on Clare- one length. Jesus lagging behind!

MAY BUMPS DAY 3: Top men and women divisions!

Hello and welcome to David Jones and Brett Wilson’s coverage of the last two divisions of the day! Both of us have rowed today for the mighty LMBC so know what these rowers will be going through. We will try to keep you up to date with all that happens and put in some rowers opinions on the races.

MAY BUMPS DAY 2: Divisions all day!


1730: ONE MINUTE GUN! That’s time for me to head off down to the river. W2 division about to start, and some extraordinarily exciting racing through the rest of the day. The sun is out, get down to the bankside and cheer on the guys and girls. Otherwise – keep in touch with the coverage of CamFM:

17:15: While we’re on the subject of Girton. Less than stunning work in the three seat of Girton M2.

17:10: Just found this stunning video on the message boards. Some strong work from the Girton M1 cox at 5:56. Listen out for the angry lass on the bank ‘I’m going to ram that whistle down your…’

17:03: Results for the Boys in M3 in. This isn’t final.

Results for M3.

Phew… that is confusing. Probably some mistakes below. Looks like Catz held Emma. Provisional Results to follow.

16:51: Does Catz have the fight to hold Emma?

16:50: Binsen bumped up. Who, I have no idea. Edit: Queens M3, before the motorway bridge.

16:49: Catz fleeing Emma. So close on Ditton, tight line from Catz. Peterhouse bumped by Selwyn, big big big fight from Peterhouse.

16:48: Queens M3 pulled into the side? Not sure why. Clare M3 double over bumped.

16:47: Selwyn tight on Peterhouse. Churchill bumped Emma, or vice versa.

1647: Emma Gaining.


1645: M3 division is off. Selwyn gaining on Peterhouse at First Post. FaT M3 nowhere near them.

16:20: A tip from yours truly. Boyfriend, girlfriend or significant other complaining about rowing bumps this week? Get them one of these badboys, and the world will be put right:

What does it look like to you?

16:11: Provisional Results for the W3 division:

W3 Results from W3!


16:10: Newnham pushing up on Emma? Overbump…?

16:08: Tit Hall bumped Magdelene?

16:08: Jesus w3 up, ARU up before the railway bridge.

16:07: Some technical issues at CamFM!

16:06: Magdelene Gaining…? 3/4 length.

16:05: Caius W2 bumped down? NOOOOO.

16:04: Medwards 3 bumping Catz. WELL HARD!

16:00: W3 division about to kick off.

15:44: Some complaints coming in now… It’s all gravy. The second fastest Iraqi on the cam is bitter about not being as fast as the fastest Iraqi. I will disclose that there is less than 3 seconds between them.

15:42: Final results from M4. W3 charge beginning soon.



15:33: On the subject of erg favourites… If any of the guys from LMBC are annoying you,  just play the first 30s of ‘Till I Collapse. Guaranteed chunder.

15:30: CamFM are playing Pendulum – Island Part II. It’s a left field choice, but approval is granted. Set Me On Fire is an erging favourite.

15:28: Apparently there’s a guy in the Downing beerboat called ‘Rimmer’. I don’t know what that means, but I bet the internet knows.

Caius safe, rowing over – my error.

A technical rowover for Jesus M3. That’s a really strong result from Jesus

15:25: Excitement… Overlap between Homerton and Eds?

15:24: Caius M3 wide, Catz coming inside into the long reach.

15:23: Fitz bumped down by Kings (on grassy).

15:23: Hughes Hall M2 bumped Christ M3.

15:22: Selwyn Conceded to Corpus.

15:19: Those Magenta posts on the Cam? That’s a fairly aggressive chat from Downing, as it suggests they’ve been dominating the river all year. Traditionally, the Mays Headship crew paints them… Clearly Downing back themselves!

15:12: Really disappointed by the Tab Readership. I have now taken the piss out of almost everyone and no one has left abuse in the comments. Can we please have some, before I poke the hornets nest of feminism?

15:07: A lot of love coming in for Caius, W2 and their cox in particular. Caius M2 getting a lot of love, despite their dick move yesterday – bumped by two boats and retaining their place. Surprisingly very little love for Caius M1, but that’s okay because Maggie Loves them, in our own way.

15:01: Pembroke M3 managed to bump Emma M4. Massive form from Pembroke. That’s what… A double overbump? Pembroke M3 will be one to watch tomorrow.

14:52: Looks like we have final results for M5 Division…


M5 M5 Results: Aren’t the bumps charts pretty?

14:51: A vote of support for the Clare M4 cox, who was getting some rough chat from the CamFM team. You go random cox.

14:49: Pembroke M3 chasing Emma M4. If they’re as close as CamFM suggest, that is impressive.

14:47: Homerton bumped by Hughes Hall. St Catz? Sidney Sussex M2 bumps up on Queens M4. Churchill bumped Emma 5.

14:46: One length off Jesus M5, COME ON KINGS. Corpus Christi M3 bumps Clare M4

14:35: Since we’re delayed… A lot of people forget the real heroes of the bumps. Not Caius M1 or the Lolcatz, but the marshals and the umpires. Some interesting characters involved on the towpath. Spotted earlier today – this BNOC(am) – The 2nd fastest Iraqi on the Cam!

Hot Iraqis 2014: ‘The sexiest calendar you’ve never bought’.

In all seriousness, a thanks to all those who volunteer to help the bumps run.

14:33: ‘An equine interruption’. I saw a video on the internet about that once. It was an intense time.

14:31: Escaped horse galloping up the towpath. Trenton Oldfield, eat your heart out. M5 delayed slightly…

14:19: Exciting prospects for the M5 division, where St Catz M6 is chasing their M5 and Emma M5 chasing Emma M4. Could have some beer boats damaging the pride of their team mates.

14:13: CamFM reporting a lot of love for Jesus W3. Can confirm my own love for Jesus Women. A special mention also to Jesus Men, who are enjoying their first races this term!

14:12: Results in for M6 and W4. Next division at 14:30 – M5

Excitement in the W4 Division, a lot of technical row overs.


M6 Results. Maggie looking strong, no surprise there.

14:01: Provisional results from M6. Need to confirm this, can’t believe Churchill M4 outran LMBC M4. 13:58: Peterhouse bumped by Clare? Some technical rowovers behind them, held up by the bump. Uncertainty about the bottom of the division. Full results to follow. Must have looked a bit like this.

13:51: Homerton W2 bumped by Sidney W2. Some technical difficulties from CamFM. Wooo… music!

13:50:  In the M6 division, the Maggie Sandwich advances, bumping up to head of the division. W4 division starting.

13:44: Bow take a tap.

13:41: The four minute gun goes. From experience, absolutely everyone on the river will be shiteing cacking (Jack Emmins edit) themselves. The question in this division is who cacks themselves the least – they tend to win. Shout out to the Maggie M4/M5 sandwich, which will be looking to row away from the foot of the river.

13:35: Ten minutes till the gun. Warm conditions today, so the breeze will drop off as the day progresses. This will make for faster racing on the reach (i.e. the second half of the race). This will be crucial in later divisions.

13:30: Yesterday, the Combined Boat Club issued some joke fines in line with their own very peculiar sense of humour. Having myself been nailed by Clare M1 crew earlier this month, I am firmly in favour of their move into modelling. So Quadzilla. Such Yellow squares. Very bulge. Nom nom nom.


”Clare M1 – This – Consider modelling if rowing doesn’t work out for you
Selwyn supporters at Grassy – Banner saying “Try” – Try harder with motivation
M1 division – Too many rowovers – Do something interesting tomorrow otherwise we’ll randomise the start order for the rest of the week”

13:15: To Recap yesterday’s races. In the higher divisions, the shorter course CUCBC are running this year (about 500m less) meant fewer bumps. Pembroke bumping FaT, the First Division spoonbarge, was the only action from the first 15 crews. Despite some huge chat on the message boards, Jesus were unable to gain on Maggie. On the women’s side, Downing W1 bumped back up to headship, as expected. Further down the tables – an exciting overbump by Jesus W2 on Pembroke W2.

13:00: The second day of May Bumps 2014 is about to get underway. The definitely not bias Gregor McMillan is here to cover all the action from the riverside. As the first division of the day warms up, the famous ‘Inches’ rowing video is being channelled into bedrooms all over Cambridge. Definitely not an experience you want to miss out on:


20:00 Confirmed bump for Churchill M1 on Homerton as well. Final results below:

M1 final results

19:54 Pretty dull race all round with only Pembroke bumping up successfully. Provisional results below:

M1 results

19:53 Big bump for Pembroke M1 up on First and Third M1.

19:47 And we’re off in M1!

19:32 M1 yet to come. Get down to the river asap if possible. Going to be a big one.

19:30 Apologies for the break. Technical issues are all sorted and some results are in from W1. Bumps for Downing to take the head of the river and Emmanuel over Jesus W1 to take third. Great scenes near the front in that race.

W1 results

18:30 Confirmation on those results from M2 below. The big two races are yet to come.

M2 results

18:25 The big news from M2 is that St Edmund’s M1 move up two on Lady Margaret’s M2 and Caius’ M2. Other than that, some good bumps lower in the race for Jesus M2, Hughes Hall M1 and Darwin M1. Lots of foliage out on the river today.

18:15 M2 underway. Will update as soon as we have info.

18:00 M2, W1 and M1 yet to come. Stay with us for all the action and results from the final few races.

17:30 Crazy result in the W2 division as Jesus move up three places. Great performance there. More good news for Queens as their W2 boat bump from the bottom to move into the division. Congrats to them.

W2 results

16:50 Another fantastic race in the M3 division, with another six bumps including a move by the sandwich boat Clare Hall M1! More to come.

M3 Results

16:30 Great race in the W3 division with six bumps, including a huge effort by Queens W2 to catch Caius W2 in first place.

W3 results

16:10 Good news: pizzas have arrived at the Tab Sport HQ. Big shout out the the Sainsbury’s 2 large pizzas for £8 deal. Also some rowing going on, will post results as soon as we have them.

15:50 The hopefully-final results are in for M4 now:

M4 Results

15:45 More chaos on the river as another re-row is held in the M4 division. The organisers have shortened the time between the divisions to try and get back some of the time lost earlier on.

15:25 Lots of delays on the river and CamFM are having some technical difficulties – nailing the music choice though. Johnny our weather correspondent is singing along with an air of Miley Cyrus crossed with Lethal Bizzle.

15:09 Lots of chaos in the M5 division. Results here:

M5 Results

15:01 Putting the port in transport, Jesus M5 are strong favourites to bump.

14:50 There is going to be a re-row of the race, except for the first four boats in the division: Queens M4 , Magdalene M3, Sidney Sussex M2, and Kings M3.

14:40 We have an update on the cause of the stoppage. Darwin M3 bumped Clare M4 but then were unable to clear the water, blocking the river.

14:35 The M5 race has been stopped, and the sirens are going off. Very unusual. We will update once we know what has happened.

14:29 M5 is about to push off.

14:07 Next division is M5 at 14:30. Johnny, our returning weather correspondent, has said that the accumulation of clouds in the east shouldn’t affect today’s proceedings. Thanks Johnny. More later.

14:05 Confirmation on M6 and W4 results below:

M6 results

W4 results

14:00 Jesus W3 rowed over, as did Clare W3. Lady Margaret W3 bumped by Darwin and Homerton W2 also bumped up on Sidney Sussex W2 just behind Jesus at the top of the river.

13:56 Queens W3 have been bumped by Hughes Hall W2, and Medwards W3 have bumped up on Peterhouse W2.

13:55 And W4 are off! The division is headed by Jesus W3. They are leading by around four boat lengths and looking comfortable.

13:52 More good news for Lady Margaret as their M5 crew have also bumped up on Pembroke M5. Looks like everyone else rowed over.

13:50 Bump confirmed between Lady Margaret M4 have bumped up on Churchill M4.

13:48 And they’re off. Looks like Churchill are struggling here, although Lady Margaret aren’t gaining on them.

13:40 First race of the day in five minutes. The M6/W4 division are up first. There were five womens divisions last year but it has been reduced to four.

13:35 Here are the division times for this afternoon and the rest of the week:

Division Wednesday – Friday Saturday
Race Marshal Race Marshal
M1 19:45 19:00 17:45 17:00
W1 19:00 18:15 17:00 16:15
M2 18:15 17:30 16:15 15:30
W2 17:30 16:45 15:30 14:45
M3 16:45 16:00 14:45 14:00
W3 16:00 15:15 14:00 13:15
M4 15:15 14:30 13:15 12:30
M5 14:30 13:45 12:30 11:45
M6/W4 13:45 13:30 11:45 11:30

13:15 Hello and welcome to the May Bumps 2014. Jack Anderson and Ed Smith are here to bring you all the news from the riverside. First race is up in half an hour. Get excited.