The smoking area is better than the club

We all know smokers love the smoking area but have you ever noticed that it’s usually filled with a substantial number of non-smokers? Yeah, it’s because it’s usually better than the actual club.

I’m not a smoker and yet I prefer the smokers area. It is a rather strange concept to pay to get into a club only to then stand outside the club freezing your butt off watching other people smoke.

However there are logical reasons as to why I do this. Firstly, there’s something about dark, busy places with flashing lights that gives guys the impression that it’s okay to grope unsuspecting girls.

I have actually had a forty-odd year old guy try and punch me in the face because I told him my friend had a boyfriend. Guys, just because it’s dark, it doesn’t mean we don’t know it’s you that’s touching our butt.

Out in the smoking area, there’s less of that.

On top of this, I actually quite enjoy talking to my friends and in a club using questionable sign language is pretty much the only successful way of communicating. In the smoking area you’re free to talk normally without a game of charades following suit.

Swag central in the smokers area

And is it me or do people suddenly become a million times more generous in the smokers area? People are giving out free cigarettes, sharing lighters and letting people finish their drinks.

I’ve been given half a bottle of Moet before because the guy didn’t like it.

I think it might be because when you’re outside you suddenly become aware of how drunk you actually are but I’m not complaining, I got free champagne.

Anyone who has ever been in a club will also know it gets a bit sweaty now and again so being set free into the smokers area is like being given some frozen peas when you’re in the middle of the Sahara desert.

It’s fucking amazing. I get moody when I’m overheated so a regular visit to the smokers area is a must.

As I’m not a smoker I also failed to mention that you can actually smoke there. Which must be pretty ace for those kids that can’t go ten minutes without a fag.

I have no idea whether this opinion is universal or whether it is just down to Oxford’s rather questionable nightlife… who knows.

Maybe clubs should just start playing music outside and then they wouldn’t even need to pay rent on an inside space.