20 things you’ll only find on a Bristol Uni student’s Instagram

We all know your ‘South London’ bio means you’re actually from Surrey

You can spot a Bristol Uni student from a mile off. The baggy trousers, Depop jumper that looks its been pulled out of a rubbish bin but actually cost £80 and the battered Air Force 1s. We all know the stereotype and we’re all guilty of subscribing to it.

But the endless similarities between us all don’t stop at the outfits. As I spend endless hours trawling through Instagram, I realise that no one in Bristol has ever had an original thought and we’re all somehow living parallel lives.

It’s as if someone has created a checklist of everything you must put on your Instagram to prove you’re a proper Bristol student and to show everyone at home you’re very, VERY cool now.

1. London/Bristol bio

We get it you want everyone to know you’re cool and from London although it doesn’t make you quirky because so is everyone else who lives in Stoke Bishop. Also if you specify its South London you’re not fooling anyone we all know it’s Surrey. I actually have trust issues from the amount of people lying about where they actually live.

2. Post captioned ‘Back in Brizness’

A really cringe caption for an equally cringe camera roll dump of your first week back in Bristol after Christmas.

3. Tokyo World post

*insert hilarious caption about taking a “quick trip to Japan”*. You thought you were so clever with this one didn’t you? The joke loses its humour when 200 other people have used it too.

4. Sunset/sunrise at Brandon Hill

Classic embarrassing first year behaviour. I know everyone just binge-watched Skins to prepare themselves for their big move to Bristol and were just desperate to have their own Cassie moment stood on a bench looking out at the sunset. Keep romanticising your life babes.

5. Below average SoundCloud link

The typical aspiring Bristol Uni DJ who’s posted one shit remix that’s got 10 views but tells people they just love garage and can’t wait to pursue their career in music.

6. Gap yah highlight reel (or multiple)

Run a mile when people start showing you photos of them at an elephant sanctuary in Thailand.

7. Photo taken with a fish eye lens

People at Bristol are just so quirky taking photos on their normal phone camera just isn’t enough. So artistic they may as well be in the Bristol Museum and Art Gallery.

8. Multiple disposables

It seems to be a rite of passage that every Bristol Uni student buys an £8 boots disposable to capture all their plandid first year moments. So edgy and quirky!

9. Awkward first year flat photos

The classic I’ve arrived at uni post including an awkward photo of you and your freshers friends. I’m willing to bet that you stopped speaking to them three weeks in to first term.

10. Mirror selfie in M&Ms

Nothing humbles you more that seeing yourself in those awful mirrors after a sweaty night in Grav.

11. Too many sports night fancy dress posts

Social secs desperately need some new material because since moving to Bristol I have seen way too many togas and white t-shirt parties.

12. Red Stripes in basically every photo

Going through Instagram profiles and playing spot the Red Stripe is brilliant fun.

13. Wholesome photo at the Avon Gorge

The kind of photo that goes in the family group chat so your mum thinks you do more than strawpedo VK and skip all your 9ams when in reality you’ve dragged yourself here from your Stoke Bishop digs after realising you’ve not left the house in 3 days.

The fresh air will cure the popcorn lungs caused by going through 10 Elf Bars a week right?

14. Wills Quad

Nothing screams Bristol like ex-private schoolers piling on to the Wills Quad in gowns and black tie so they can pretend they got in to Oxbridge.

Truly a sad day for them as they realise they have to leave the comfort of their catered halls that remind them of their beloved boarding schools.

15. Corner shop and fruit and veg stall pics

Why have we all decided that a photo of some courgette and tomatoes is ~aesthetic~ and definitely deserves pride of place on Instagram?

16. BBQ on The Downs

Nothing screams summer in Bristol like disposable BBQs, cider and a shit indie playlists.

17. Ski trip

#uptosnowgood #apresski #noonegivesashit

18. LEDs everywhere

Remember when TikTok exploded in lockdown and LED strip lights had everyone in an absolute chokehold? It seems Bristol students have never gotten over this and it still takes pride of place in every Instagram post.

19. Hungover brunch at Rubicon Too

Gorgeous gorgeous girls cure their hangovers with a vegetarian breakfast and orange juice.

20. Random change.org and aesthetic infographics

Dear champagne socialists – sharing pretty infographics and petition links doesn’t make you woke xx

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