Nine of the most humbling experiences a Bristol Uni student could possibly face

Getting on the U1 as a second year is an awful experience

2 weeks ago

It seems that University of Bristol students have a nationwide reputation as being stuck up. Who can blame them for thinking that? We bring it upon ourselves and you know it. Thankfully, there’s a multitude of things that have and will humble most Bristol Uni students to bring us all down a peg or two.

Getting on the U1 as a second/third-year

A brilliant transportation option for first years, I will admit, but there is nothing worse than having to actually pay for the bus when even the driver says “don’t you have a pass”. No, I’m basically a Bristol Uni pensioner at this point. Can I have a student single please. The beady eyes of the freshers will be staring at you as you hop off the bus at Apsley Road.

Getting kicked out of Gravity

Even being in the vicinity of such a place is a sign you need to rethink your Wednesday activities. Just when you think you couldn’t get any lower, there’s always rock bottom. There comes a time in every student’s experience of Fishies sports night that you take it too far. You’re 7 VKs down, you’re dressed as a bin bag or painted head to toe in some strange colour and the security decides enough is enough. The hangxiety the next day is enough to put you off returning for weeks (but we know you always will).

Wide leg trousers versus puddles

It’s raining, it’s soggy, but no matter the weather you know you’re still going to trudge around with sodden-bottomed cargos. As the dirty puddle water begins to seep up your legs, not once do you even consider wearing something more weather-appropriate out, because you’re a Bristol uni student and you would rather suffer hypothermia than judgement from the Depop girlies.

The university ski trip

Ah yes, the university ski trip. If, like me, you have never been skiing, the judgement felt is enough to send you snowploughing back home. As you struggle through calf pain and near-death experiences to get to après and the twice-yearly skiers haven’t got to you yet, the journey back down will. Drunk at 5pm, tired and in an alien environment, you will humbly slide home and wonder why the ski society are so overly enthusiastic.

10 before 10 trauma

Nobody goes to the Coronation Tap expecting to leave with good memories, or any at all for that matter. Attempting to neck 10 half pints of the devil’s cider before 10pm is basically just a set up for embarrassment as you drunkenly stumble home, phone, keys, and dignity lost and never to be recovered.

Going to the wrong lecture

Everyone has at least one friend who’s accidentally sat down in the wrong lecture. BioMed is a confusing building, I don’t blame them. However, do they realise their mistake, get up and leave? Absolutely not. In true Bristol stubbornness they will stick it out to the end as they pray nobody sees their tote bag and books (clear imposter indicators). They now know computational physics and data science! How useful for their English degree.

The uni gym

Unless you are a seasoned rugby player this place is terrifying. After realising you’ve probably damaged your body to the point of no return over your university experience, you buy a gym membership expecting to turn into the next TikTok fitness influencer complete with Gymshark leggings and hightop Converse. Wrong. Never have you felt so stupid as you bump into your first-year flatmate whilst trying to figure out the leg press machine and vow to only return in women’s hour.

The walk back from a 9am lecture

As you are resurrected from your sleep at the ripe time of 8:45 and rush to get dressed for your seminar, your physical appearance isn’t exactly your top priority. This in itself isn’t so bad. However, it’s when you’re walking back home at 10am and bump into the stylish and well-rested walking to their first lecture of the day whilst you’re sporting a bird’s nest of hair, no makeup and trackies. You vow to wake up earlier and put effort into your appearance, but does this ever happen? No.

Cleaning up after a house party

You’re in second year now, you’ve got your own place and, obviously, the only appropriate form of christening for the house is a party. A great idea theoretically, but terrible in action. As the whole of Redland swarms into your living room there’s a small part of you that knows you will regret this decision and the mess left the next day is enough to scar everyone. If you escaped without a noise complaint, your next task will be to pick the cigarette butts off the carpet and wash the sick from the front door.