Wednesday Night Fever: Imagining the future of Fishies at different Bristol clubs

The biggest shock of the year has to be the immediate closing of the iconic Gravity, well, for VK lovers and quarter zip wearers anyway. Every Wednesday, hundreds would pile underground into the best smoking area in Bristol and enjoy the electrifying atmosphere created by beige chino wearers. However, we have to move on with our lives and convince ourselves that sports night won’t die a sad death.

The next two weeks of Fishies are taking place at Lola Los, followed by the closing party at SWX (don’t worry, I have a lot to say about these locations). After spending 90 per cent of my brain power trying to work out where the best replacement for Fishies would be, I still cannot find a better venue than Grav. So, here is what Fishies would look like at some of Bristol’s remaining clubs (save our scene, we are begging).

Thekla

Although Thekla is a great venue, it is NOT sports night territory. Imagine the scenes of rugby boys taking up the entire boat. I’ve had visions of them pushing indie lovers and Dr Marten wearers overboard into the river Avon. Thekla is an actual maze, so would be easier to avoid potential Hinge-match jump scares than Gravity – the only upside. Personally, I don’t think placing smashed sports societies on a literal boat is the best idea.

Lakota

Yeah, this isn’t going to work either. Fishies at Lakota would honestly be a fever dream. Imagine Toxic by Britney Spears booming out of those DnB-designed speakers. Although Lakota is definitely big enough as a venue, I’m not sure the Hugos of UoB would make it down Gloucester Road alive. The Bristol DJs would be absolutely furious and rightly so, it is quite the ask for a DnB club to host a sports night lol. We will leave Lakota for the dutty DnB lovers.

La Rocca

In general, La Rocca is the most similar to Gravity, in terms of demographics, music and location. Already a Wednesday favourite, it would actually be the ideal Fishies replacement. Unfortunately, it is way too small. Already packed in like sardines, the queue would reach all the way up Whiteladies to The Downs. Bristol’s cash machines would run out of fivers and you would literally have to get there at 7pm to guarantee entry. It is a massive shame La Rocca is the size of Harry Potter’s bedroom.

Lola Los

This news is shocking I’m sorry. The capacity is literally smaller than Gravity’s smoking area. Great location and similar music so I see the vision, but it just isn’t big enough. Good luck to you brave soldiers attempting entry these next two weeks.

SWX

SWX could actually work. It is definitely big enough. However, its location in the City Centre isn’t ideal. Sports Night is for The Triangle, and I don’t know how many people will want to trek to the City Centre (lucky Freshers living there are winning right now). It isn’t yet known if SWX will be Fishies permanent home, but this is definitely a potential.

Clock Factory

Bed Mondays were iconic when hosted at Gravity, then they moved to Clock Factory… Let’s not allow Fishies to have the same fate.

Brass Pig

An iconic Triangle venue, it would fit the Fishies vibe. However, Brass Pig is part of the journey, not the destination. Again, it is too small and closes at 2am so is ideal for a quick boogie before Grav, but can’t replace it. There is a clear trend here – Bristol clubs seem to be very small. This is why we need an SU club, pretty please.

Motion

This would be absolutely bizarre. Uber drivers would be ferrying drunk fresh from W.G Grace to Motion all night, and the massive size of it would make it feel like a school disco. Again, it just wouldn’t work as it is a rave venue (an excellent on, no less).

To conclude, nowhere will do. Gravity come back, we’re desperate

Related stories recommended by this writer:

• Iconic Bristol nightclub Gravity to close down immediately due to ‘economic strains’
• Nine of the most humbling experiences a Bristol Uni student could possibly face
• Opinion: You can still enjoy Bristol University without participating in drinking culture