Here’s how to spot a University of Birmingham fresher from a mile away

The big backpacks prepared for anything, getting lost on campus, and joining every society you see, freshers is just like going back to Year 7.

You’re now at the bottom of the pack, with all new surroundings, all new people and its pretty full-on from the start.

No matter how cool you think you are, freshers all have a certain vibe about them, and a few recognisable details can give a first year away almost immediately.

We are all guilty of these things (me included), but it’s just a university rite of passage to go through Freshers’ Week and it be painfully obvious that you’re a first year.

So, here are a few things I’ve picked up that identify a fresher.

The UoB lanyard

You’re proud to be at Birmingham, you’ve just got all the merch and you want to show it off. The classic lanyard sticks out in a crowd and makes a fresher very easy to spot.

We all know you want to keep your student ID handy, but you’re not a teacher with a staff lanyard. I promise your student ID will be safe in a bag or your pocket.

Also, are you taking your student ID out to sports night with the lanyard attached? I have so many questions.

Freshers wear your lanyard with pride though, this is the only time you can do it, and show the lanyard-wearing BCU students that you go to UOB (just maybe retire it after Christmas).

Stressing about a house

When you spot the Oakman’s car driving around Selly with four scared faces packed in, you know it’s freshers on the first week of November already looking for their dream house for next year.

No doubt, they will also sign on a house with urgency the day of their first viewing because what if there are no houses left? Trust me- there will be.

Check Fab N Fresh – even now people are siphoning off rooms. I promise you won’t have to resort to sleeping in Sport and Fitness next year.

Lost in Selly

Walking with your hands full of ALDI bags towards campus is a definitive sign you’re looking at a fresher with a long walk back to the Vale ahead of them.

The long trek is one that has traumatised so many students, and will forever be a great way to spot a fresher.

In general, any confused or lost looking students in Selly will most likely be a fresher. We don’t bite – Selly retail park is for everyone. But not Circo – that’s for us.

Out on a Tuesday

Now, I know first year is all about the social and the academics aren’t the main focus, but why on earth are you going out on a Tuesday?

A fresher can be identified grasping a bottle of wine and in inappropriate clubbing clothes for the weather walking down broad street on the rogue night of a Tuesday. Just because its four for £10 Jägerbombs at Heidi’s doesn’t mean its your duty to buy the bar out of them.

I can forgive this for the first few weeks when the wristbands are rife (don’t get one) but after that, no way. Do you not need rest in preparation for sports night Wednesday? I do respect the commitment though.

Loud in the library

A classic complaint that never gets old, freshers need to learn library etiquette. Silent floors need to stay silent and the obnoxiously loud chatting and laughing can almost always be attributed to a fresher. The stereotypes stay and the group study area continues to be ignored.

This is a fail-safe way to spot a first year.

So, on your next walk around campus see if you can spot one of the (not very rare) species!

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