From the silent disco to Joe’s: Here’s a definitive ranking of all the sports night rooms

Sports night. It’s my favourite day of the week and I’m unashamed to admit I’m more dedicated to this event than my degree.

But for all those who don’t know this night like I do, or perhaps have never even been, it can be a daunting prospect. So here is my guide to the best sports night.

The best way to start a Wednesday night is by trekking of course through Selly in an outrageous costume, hoping you don’t bump into anyone you know. Walking through Aldi dressed as a pea is just part of the fun, soz.

After a crazy pres with your team, where you’ve probably been covered in even more face paint and the thought of seeing another bottle of Frosty Jack’s makes you want to puke, it’s time to head to the Guild.

But where do you go once you’re in? Good question. I present to you my rating of the rooms at the Guild…

Joe’s: 8/10

The OG.

The atmosphere is always good here and if you can get yourself onto the main dance floor, it can be a really fun time. You will probably find yourself shoved to the ground but have you even been to sports night if you haven’t ended up on the floor here.

Joe’s is also home to the legendary Joe Jaxon so the music is club classics and this is where you’ll need to be if you’re making it to Angels.

The bar is the biggest too so it’s relatively easy to get a drink. Unfortunately the floor is pretty sticky but what good dance floor isn’t.

Mermaid Bar: 7/10

An underrated bar in my opinion.

Good throwback sing-a-longs are played and it can be pretty lively at the start of night. However, it does close at 2am and starts to empty out after 1am so it has to lose points for that.

Shoutout to anyone who has ended up in the tuktuk after a particularly rough night.

Underground: 6/10

Truly a bottomless pit of claustrophobia on the dance floor, sorry, but it’s just not my vibe. The music simply isn’t my taste and I would just prefer to be somewhere else. That being said, it is always pretty busy so I reckon it could definitely be a lot of fun.

However, even I will admit that the bar is my go to because its usually not too hard to get served so it can redeem some points from that.

I have also had some fun nights in the smoking area, which you will definitely forget exists.

Beorma Bar: 4/10

Where is this? Good question. Well, it’s the “other” bar. The one upstairs, remember? No? Yeah me neither because I honestly can’t say I’ve ever spent more than five minutes here, and it’s easy to see why.

I don’t think they even play music in this place and someone definitely needs to figure out how to turn the lights off because why is it always so bright in here??

However, its saving grace is the short queues at the bar (probably because no one ever comes here).

Debating Hall (silent disco): 10/10

My Roman Empire. When it’s not a silent disco week, sports night isn’t worth coming to.

It’s always busy and the vibes are nothing short of immaculate. Having spent many hours in here, I can assure you that anything and everything goes in this slice of heaven so it is definitely the place to let your hair down.

The only improvement would be a bar so you can easily get those bevs to boogie with but apart from that, I simply can’t fault this gem.

Hope this helped. No I don’t need help, I just spend too much money here every Wednesday x

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