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This is how to start a conversation on Tinder: The best dating app openers

Sometimes, you need all the help you can get

6 years ago | UPDATED 5 years ago

Name something more heartbreaking than having hundreds of matches on Tinder but not a single one of them message you. Or spending your whole Sunday swiping but never finding love. You can’t can you? That’s because it’s the ultimate heartbreak. With dating apps there is so much to think about. You have to perfect your bio, pick the best pictures, try and master your way through confusing algorithms and that’s before you’ve even managed to get to what you should and shouldn’t do when talking to people. But, does anyone really know how to start a conversation on Tinder?

Here are top tips of how to talk to people on dating apps – including what to say, the best Tinder openers and what to definitely avoid saying. It’s a foolproof way to guarantee replies and hopefully land you a relationship. Just call me a Tinder coach.

Don’t just say “Heyyy”

You need to grab the other person’s attention. Anyone can message “Heyyy” or send a GIF. Make them remember you. If you’re confident, send something funny or a bit risque. Just don’t be an everyman that’s just going to disappear into a list of matches never to be seen again.

All these matches, but no good conversations

Be simple, and straight to the point

Keep it simple and straight to the point. Nine times out of ten they won’t rate cheesy gifs or weird chat up lines, just get straight into a nice and flowing convo. Ask how their day was or if they have plans for the weekend – it’s really not difficult. Then after establishing a bit of chat, the convo can get more interesting. Just sometimes a sext at 10am from a random Tinder match just isn’t needed.

Start with a compliment

Open with a compliment – pick out something you like about their photos to show you’ve actually looked at them. Stuff that people put effort into, like their hair or dress sense, is a good start if you’re looking to ego trip your way to some nudes.

I wonder how long it will take for this one to start a conversation

Prove your message isn’t being sent to everyone

Make reference to their bio or something on their profile – show you’re paying attention and it’s not just a copy and paste job that you’ve sent to every match. The WORST kind of Tinder first lines are the ones you can tell have been recycled a million times.

Don’t wait for the other person to message, make the first move

Don’t be that person that waits for someone else to message you first – chances are they’re doing the same thing too and they won’t bother. There’s a reason you swiped right – tell them. Guys especially like confident girls who don’t wait to messaged first – it’s ballsy. Drop your match a quick message, what have you got to lose?

Defo still waiting on a message

DO NOT include their name in your first message

“What’s up, Hayley?” is just way too upfront and a bit creepy – I guess it’s nice that you’ve noticed their name and bothered to use it, but it’s just a bit much. Wait until you’re a bit further in before you get personal.

Get the convo going by evoking some sort of emotion

If you get some emotion into the conversation it’s the best way to make it memorable. Make them happy with a compliment, excited with something daring or surprised by sharing you might have in common by looking at their profile.