Things boys should not do on Tinder, by disappointed girls
You’re all trash
This week in 'idiot men do idiotic things and think they can get away with it', saw anti-feminist Charlie Silcox go on Tinder and send some pretty shitty messages to a girl he'd matched with.
Instead of the standard "hey, how are you!", Charlie decided to go straight in with his opinions of feminism, women and sex, claiming after eight seconds a woman likes being raped, and that the gender pay gap doesn't exist, ha!!!
So just incase you thought that was an okay thing to do, here are all the other dumb things boys should under no circumstances say to girls on Tinder if they have any hope of getting a first date.
Tell them you’re not into feminism
Looooool, you do realise who you’re speaking to don’t you? Go read a fucking book.
“Oh you’re so exotic” to anyone who’s not white
Girls love it when you fetishise them, honest! Please, tell me how much you would like to touch my hair and ask me where I'm really from.
Sorry, are we on MSN? Is this 2008? There is nothing more mundane than a full grown man opening a Tinder conversation with “Hey x” knowing full well it’s going to end in “Hey” “How’s it going?” “Good thanks, you?” before we never speak again. Light my fucking fire.
Send an aubergine and ask if I want to see an unsolicited pic of your shrivelled dick
Noooo thank you.
Have your six pics make up a PowerPoint presentation on why we should swipe for you
When the first guy to do this did it, it was classic. It was a welcome break from the holiday pics and memories of the boys in Ibiza. But then everyone started to do it, each one less funny than the last. Now it just looks unoriginal, and tbh I don't have the time to read six slides on how you work at PwC and live in Clapham with a cockapoo called Basil.
“What’s your number my Tinder chat is a bit temperamental” as the second message in
Hunny, don’t lie to me. Mine works just fine, as does my friends and my friend of a friend. If my mum got Tinder right this second, it would work on hers too. Just be honest and say “I’m desperate as fuck please give me your number so hitting you up at 3am is easier”. Because that’s what you really mean, isn’t it babe?
A "cheeky" game of would you rather
Is this Freshers' Week? Get out with your stupid questions about whether I prefer missionary or doggy.
The assumption of sex
I am here to cure my loneliness, that does not mean I want you or your little pencil dick. Wine, dine and 69 maybe but please at least try be charming in some way or another.
Have a joke in your bio about being "6 foot 3 and no. I don’t mean my height”
Have a list of things you ‘look for in a girl’ in your bio
First of all, you are in no way fit enough to be this demanding. Second of all, if for some strange reason I fit every box I’ll be creeped out and swipe left anyway.
Send a GIF as the first message
Why have you sent me a GIF of a waving penguin? What is that trying to say to me? I know you’re trying to play it cool but I’m getting mixed messages.
A cheesy pick up line that’s been said a million times before
“Did you fall from heaven?” “Woooooow, second pic is stunning!!”
Send multiple messages after no reply
Maybe I wish I hadn’t matched you or maybe I’m just busy doing my busy life things but I do not appreciate a “hey” then a “xx” then a “lol alright then!” in consecutive days.
Immediately asking for our Snapchat
Where’s the chat first? Where’s the attempt to see if I’m a decent person not just a fitty? OF COURSE I have Snapchat. And of course I’m fit as fuck. But at least try and get to know me!!
Send any form of smirky face in the first few messages
If we’ve just started talking, don’t bother with the smirks – you just come across as creepy. We get it, you’re just here to hook up, that’s fine, me too probably. But just be upfront and honest with me, we’re not in high school anymore.
Or send a monkey emoji
The only people who are allowed to send monkey emojis are your mum or grandparents who have just got an iPad. Because they are pure and innocent, whereas you should just know better.
Include pics of just your abs on your profile
No face, nothing. Sorry, am I supposed to be impressed? Any guy can go to the gym and get some abs, not every guy has a super cute face to match though. Chances are, if you’re just posting pics of your abs your face doesn’t match the goods. Sorry not sorry.
Add the first part of a stupid joke in the hope the girl will message asking for the end of it
I really don’t care that much about a cheesy joke that is definitely not original. Next.
Calling you “cute” nicknames that are in no way cute at all
You do not get to call me “sunshine” or “darling” or “baby” when you’ve said all of five words to me.
Send a clearly copied and pasted, robotic af opening message
I’m gonna guess it hasn’t worked on any of the girls you sent it to?
Written by Diyora Shadijanova, Laura Williamson, Grace Withers, Emilie Bowen, Lauren Reeves, Alex Wright and Hayley Soen.
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