Tinder and Bumble: The Tab’s guide to using dating apps

Having the perfect profile is essential

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There are two different groups when it comes to relationships: those who are serial daters, and those who are always in serious long-term relationships and have never dated in their life. If you’re the latter, single life and online dating is a minefield, and getting a date is an endurance test. This guide on how to use Tinder and Bumble will tell you everything you need to know, from Tinder conversation starters, what to do if you have no matches on Tinder and the best Tinder bios to ensure you get the most matches as possible. If you need a full guide to dating, check out this guide to dating.

Tinder conversation starters

Cheesy one liners, shit jokes, asking for sex straight away and “hey xx” are going to get you unmatched quickly and are some of the worst conversation starters. Look at your match’s pictures and find a conversation starter out of that. Are they pictured at a festival you’ve been to? Are they posing with a dog you are more interested finding out about than them? Is there something about them you find particularly attractive e.g. “I do like a man with three different coloured Ralph Lauren shirts”. Don’t try and be a Romeo or too serious, it’s not how to start a Tinder conversation.

A happy swiper

No matches on Tinder?

If you’ve got no matches on Tinder, it’s probably because your profile and pictures aren’t inviting enough. Have at least three good quality pictures which show different sides to you e.g. a festival pic, a holiday pic, a pic of you in a nice shirt, a fun picture. Swipers need variety to see if there’s any mutual interests. The golden rule is if you wouldn’t put it on Instagram, don’t put it on your Tinder profile.

Pictures to avoid:

– One single picture of you. Only one pic make us think it’s a fake account

– Blurry mirror selfies which look like something you would’ve used as your Bebo DP in 2007

– Snapchat filters

– Gym selfies which only show your abs, not your face (even ones showing your face are cringe)

– Only group shots. How are we meant to know which one is you???

Don’t do this

The best time to get matches

The hours between 5-9pm are the best time to get Tinder matches, with 9pm being the optimum matching time.

Image via Trusty Joe

Best Tinder bios and best Bumble bios

Alongside your pictures (make sure they’re decent, not a selfie in a dark room), the bio is the only other way to sell yourself. If you have no imagination go for your uni and work. If you’re feeling fruity, go for something self-deprecating and funny. Definitely don’t go for a line everyone uses, like “looking for nothing serious…just a wife and three kids”, or a load of emojis.

Certain jobs on Tinder pull in the most matches. For women, teachers, dentists and speech pathologists pull the most right-swipes, whereas for men lawyers, actors and creative directors get matched the most.

Bumble and Tinder bios which wont get any matches:

– An immature joke in your bio about supposed dick size, e.g. “6 foot 3 and no. I don’t mean my height”

– A PowerPoint presentation on why someone should swipe for you

– No bio, not even your job or uni. Do you have a personality?

– “Looking to explore this beautiful place with someone beautiful”

– Details on your Snapchat handle, it screams out dick pic

How to delete Tinder

Go on settings and scroll right to the bottom to where it says delete account. It’ll ask you whether you want to pause or fully delete your account. The next page asks you why you want to delete the app, with options including you’ve met someone or you don’t like Tinder. Once you have confirmed you definitely want to delete it, it’s gone! If you log into Tinder again a whole new account will be created starting from scratch.

How does Bumble work?

How Bumble and Tinder rank profiles is disputed, with different theories.

Tinder’s algorithm prioritises people who have right-swiped you to appear first, and some people think Bumble could be the same because you make more matches in the beginning. According to another theory, if you right-swipe everyone, your profile will be pushed to the back of the queue – you have to be selective. The most popular theory the most right-swiped profiles in your area appear first, meaning they must have hella matches.

Other articles this writer recommends:

1) The Tab’s guide to dating

2) How to use Tinder to find a relationship, by people who have done it

3) Things boys should not do on Tinder, by disappointed girls

4) A guide to nailing your Bumble profile, by girls