The News From The Dark Blues


JAMES ROTHWELL brings you up to speed on snow willies, Playstation theft and big-dog debates.

The countdown to a mind-blowing debate between Richard Dawkins and the Archbishop of Canterbury at Oxford began this week.

These veritable juggernauts in the arena of the Big Questions will do battle later this month at the Sheldonian – which, oddly enough, is where apologist William Lane Craig was booed last term for his rather unusual views about genocide, which would be more at home in ’30s Berlin that 21st century Oxford.  But nevertheless, students are shaking with glee.

In other, far more sensational, news: New College was the site of a risible, despicable robbery only this very week, in which some inhuman creature sneaked into the JCR and left minutes later with a Playstation 3 under his arm.

Fortunately for game junkies at New, whom I hear are legion, college hero Steve McGlynn immediately smelt a rat and promptly reported the young miscreant o the police. The only games that filthy swine will be playing anytime soon involve a spot of hide and seek and a bar of soap. Or so I have heard.

Elsewhere, eyebrows were raised at claims that the Ashmoleon museum would be hosting its very own freshers’ night. Swapping strawpedoes for sculpture, students can look forward to a delightful and thoroughly educational evening of culture, joy, enlightenment, and so on.

Reactions to the new “club night” have been mixed at best, with one 2nd year languages student claiming he would rather go for a night out in Durham than suffer the horror of an “after hours” experience in a museum. One wonders where Oxford tutors find these people sometimes.

Meanwhile someone was stabbed on St. Clements, the English faculty opened a coffee shop and several college Deans unleashed their email-rage after a pandemic of drawing giant penises in the snow broke out, after last week’s joyful explosion of fluffy white goodness – and on that rather sordid note: Rothwell out.

  • Lawyer

    I think what you mean by robbery is burglary or theft, theres is a big difference

  • You look

    fucking mental

Get the best of The Tab on our app.

REVEALED: Malia Bouattia was investigated by NUS for anti-Semitism

They were ‘satisfied, based on the evidence and information available to me that it was not Malia’s intention to be anti-Semitic’.

10 things I hate about Cambridge – ‘Apathy’ and the opposing hacking classes

JACK MAY rails against those who tarnish us all with the lazy slur of apathy.

, TabTv producer, The Tab Trent

How to be single

There’s an art to it

Which Made In Chelsea character are you?

Imagine if you were Funda

My ADHD makes me frantic and scatty – but I wouldn’t have it any other way

It gives me the energy to run seven events and a ticketing business

, Assistant Editor

The many faces of George Osborne

We reviewed them all

, Assistant Editor

Putlocker has been blocked by internet service providers

Goodbye, old friend