Saturday – Mute Terrace Party

Where: Audio

When: 3-9pm

If you like terraces then you’re in for a treat, because the boys at Mute are holding a day party on the Audio terrace.

While architectural terracing can be traced back to 13,000 BC, the three Sussex students who run this event will be mixing the finest funk, disco, house and garage tunes from the 20th and 21st century.

In a world where a Freddo costs 65p, we could all do with a little boogie on the seafront.

Sunday – Drinking games

So your parents have supplied you with all the bedding and shower caddy-esque items you could ever need, you might be starting to get a bit thirsty.

I’m sure you’ve read all about freshers week in the chronically outdated opinions of the broadsheets. However when you put away the cringe inducing awkward advice of people who went to university when you would pick up of your local CND member, all you are really left with is the universal acknowledgment that you have just committed to three years of drinking.

What better a way to bond with your flatmate while pulling her hair back over the toilet seat? It may be the first time you’ll do it, but it certainly won’t be the last.

Rather than your normal drinking games, why not indulge in some you have probably never heard of before. Or maybe spin-the-bottle will work its way back into fashion…

Monday – Fat Poppadaddys

Where: The Haunt

When: 11pm-4am

This is a freshers staple. Last year they got 1200 students into their doors and do so every Monday for the rest of the year.

This year is the 10th year that Fat Poppadaddys have held a freshers party for Sussex.

They’ve seen us through the good times, like the 2004 Licensing Act allowing 24-hour drinking, Barack Obama, and Michael Jackson being acquitted of paedophilia.

But they’ve also been with us through the bad times, like Pluto being expelled from the planetary group, Josef Fritzl, and Michael Jackson dying.

Some could say we go to Fat Pop’s because it is the only consistent in an ever evolving life of change and fluctuation, others could say it’s because they do 5 Jager Bombs for £5 and £1 shots.

Tuesday – Boozy Bake Off

If there is anything Paul Hollywood and Mary Berry have taught us it is that baking is fun, sexy, and very easy to do as a functioning alcoholic.

Grab your brand new Argos kitchen utensils and a bottle of vino and try your hand at a Bakewell Ombre cake.

Maybe if you feel like living up to American stereotypes you can bake hash cakes and spend the night bonding with your new flatmates over the possibilities of space-time travel.

Wednesday – Pub crawl treasure hunt

There is a plethora of treasure hunt companies in Brighton who write personalised treasure hunts.

Apparently this is a big thing in the stag/hen do community.

These activities are only a couple quid per head and are a decent method of getting to know Brighton.

When you want to be sad and wallow

To get to my taps you won’t go far

I have the cheapest beer that you can swallow

For you will find me in Falmer Bar

 

Thursday – Secret Discotheque

Where: Coalition

When: 10.30pm-3.30am

Iconic as it is ironic. This night does not take itself too seriously.

£1 drinks, £1 entry, and you can’t put a price on good ol’ fashioned fun.

Much like the history of the terrace, the history of thirsty Thursdays has a long and respected tradition, and the guys over at Secret Discotheque are there to quench your thirst.

In a way, Secret Discotheque is like our drunk uncle, they care for you, but they will get you shitfaced, and you may sometimes be touched inappropriately.

Friday – East Slope Hill

It’s your last night of freshers, you’ve probably made five new best friends already, now you must conquer East Slope.

Ain’t no party like an East Slope party.

The Slope provides the perfect underprivileged location to get monumentally fucked up. So put the speakers on the roof, congregate on the hill, and finish your freshers with a vague memory of sambuca.

Think Slumdog Millionaire if everyone was white, middle-class, and pissed.

It is the ideal location for a massive bonfire and if it all goes wrong, they’re knocking it down soon anyway.

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