Sussex’s worst graduates

Most unis are proud of their alumni, but Sussex have produced some genuinely awful people

alumni billy idol celebrity famous frankie boyle graduates howard marks suusex thabo mbeki tony baldry university

Frankie Boyle

Allegedly avoided tax, allegedly a racist, allegedly a comedian. In reality he is no more than the left wings answer to Katie Hopkins.

There is a line and many comedians make money by being funny when they cross it, but Boyle simply earns money by crossing it; there is no joke. The famous ‘missing Proclaimer’ hasn’t even made me giggle since 2009.

Pull the trigger

Pull the trigger

Thabo Mbeki

President of South Africa between 1999 -2008. He is also an über douche.

This man doesn’t believe that AIDS is caused by HIV, he constantly appeased Mugabe and he had an argument with a man respected by all uni students; Desmond 2:2.

Our money is on the guy in the purple dress

Our money is on the guy in the purple dress

Tony Baldry

Part time Conservative MP and part time scumbag. He once accepted £5,000 from a man called Sarosh Zaiwalla and then wrote a letter of recommendation for him to receive a public honour.

He later received £37,000 from the same man and wrote a letter to the Home Secretary about one of Zaiwalla’s clients that just happened to be the Nigerian governor who was under investigation for corruption.

When he isn’t being bribed and corrupted, it appears he likes to spread his sleazy focus to other parts of West Africa.

For example he once wrote to the Secretary for International Development asking him to endorse a diamond mining company in Sierra Leone which had previously paid £75,000 to a business that Baldry owned.

He just looks like a dick

He just looks like a dick

Billy Idol

I don’t like White Wedding and I don’t like his hair. I don’t like the fact that my mum has him on her iPod but has no Shakin’ Stevens.

The self-proclaimed ‘bad-ass’ was only at Sussex for a year until he dropped out to join the Bromley Sex Pistol fan club… I think that says it all.

My great-great-great grandma called, she wants her wrinkles back

My great-great-great grandma called, she wants her wrinkles back

Howard Marks

You may know him as ‘Mr. Nice’, but Marks is one of Britain’s best known international drug smugglers and is probably the only Sussex student that thinks he’s cooler than Billy Idol.

He is a man so arrogant that he has written two autobiographies and one book of ‘Dope Stories’. Marks is arguably Sussex’s most infamous degenerate.

The man who made drugs un-cool

The man who made drugs un-cool