Things you’ll know if you’ve studied a year abroad in Norway
You’ll learn how to slip over gracefully on ice
Doing an Erasmus year in Norway sounded like the dream. The scenery is beautiful, the people are beautiful and really, how cold can it be?
Answer: seriously cold.
So here are the things you will have experienced during your time studying in Norway, or the things to expect if you're heading over there this academic year.
Norway is so expensive – you will probably eat some meals that have come straight out of a bin
A weekly food shop in Oslo is almost double what you pay at home. It's actually acceptable to rummage through supermarket bins for food in the dead of night.
Your career as a dumpster diver could even land you as part of the 'freegan' community.
Skiing is dangerous and no amount of Savlon can save you
You will literally have to dodge Norwegians who are skiing to university on a daily basis. But don't feel too bad about yourself as you admire their elegance and grace – they were skiing before they could walk.
More importantly, avoid being distracted by their skills while you yourself attempt to ski, as this may result in a minor facial deformity.
No amount of Savlon can help you.
How to walk on ice
This is almost harder than skiing. You soon accept the fact that your walk to uni will be a treacherous journey of pain and torture until somewhere around mid-April.
You should stock up on the ibuprofen now, because limping home with yet another injury will become a regular occurrence.
A pint costs roughly half your Erasmus grant
It's no less than 70 Norwegian Krone ( £7) for a pint on a night out in Oslo. It is even possible to spend £15 on a cider.
It may be deliciously mint and basil infused, but you will feel way too guilty to enjoy it. Become best friends with a hip flask of vodka.
Things are not always as they seem
Norwegians like to disguise food in strange packaging. There's no English translation on most products (rude), so unless you speak fluent Norwegian, mistakes will happen.
I once brushed my teeth with caviar instead of toothpaste.
Norway is cold – surprise surprise
Norwegians have a saying, "there is no such thing as bad weather, only bad clothes". If you yourself have survived a semester or year abroad in Norway, you know this is a lie.
Fresh off the plane, you fought your way through a blizzard to your overpriced student accommodation, several suitcases in tow.
There's also a considerable chance you almost died of hypothermia when you got lost on your way home after a night out during 'buddy week' – their term for Freshers'
Remember, you may have chosen the Nordic life, but the Nordic life may not choose you.