10 things that you know to be true if you’re the messy friend

‘I did a thing’ is your most used phrase

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The messy friend – every friendship group has one, and if you don't – it's definitely you. But the life of a messy friend is never an easy one. It's full of perils, troubles, injustice, and woe. It's not so fun being the messy friend, after all.

1. You never listen to your friends’ advice

You go to your friends a lot for help. Like, a whole damn lot. They listen to you again and again; giving you all the attention that you crave after you’ve done something incredibly stupid, and it’s great. But then they only go and ruin it by telling you what they think is best for you! You do kind of know that they’re only trying to help (and that they’re probably right). But you also just want to do whatever you want, even though you shouldn’t. So you do you…and then complain a few days later when you realised you should’ve listened.

2. Drama seems to circulate around you

People just like to start beef with you, and you don’t really know why. You don’t start fights! There’s no way that you overreact! It’s not your fault, and you definitely can’t help it. You’ve always got something to be outraged about, even if it’s not necessarily anything to do with you, and there’s always something dramatic about to happen (if drinks are involved). At least you’re not boring.

3. And when it happens you enjoy it more than you should

You live for drama, and if you’re not directly involved in it all then you’ll be watching it with binoculars for sure, ready to spread the word. Your friends get the ‘OMG SO’ text at least once a week, and they might not say so, but they totally live for it.

4. You experience 300+ emotions a day

One minute you’re having the best day ever, and then something happens and you’re suddenly livid. Then you get over it, but not before you message all of your friends to tell them how angry you are. Then when they finally reply you’re embarrassed because now you’re chill, but then you get annoyed all over again when you’re trying to explain what upset you. And then you overthink why you’re upset and you feel a bit stupid for being upset. It’s a whirlwind.

5. You often do things that you know you shouldn’t

You KNOW that getting with that person/telling someone that thing you weren’t really meant to/confronting your friend/whatever is a bad idea for so many reasons…but you want to do it so you’re gonna do it anyway. It honestly seems like a good idea at the time!

6. Timing isn’t a thing that you’re good at

So everyone agrees on the chat that you’re meeting at 1pm for lunch, so you probably need to leave half an hour before then. That’s cool. But, whoops, you woke up at 12:30pm and HAVE to scroll through your phone for a bit before you get up, then shower and, obviously, sit on your bed staring into space for about an hour. Then, suddenly, it’s somehow 1:30pm and you haven’t left yet. You have to lie and tell everyone you’re on the way even though you haven’t actually left. You’re the friend who keeps everybody waiting (unless they tell you to arrive half an hour earlier than everyone else)

7. It’s a rare event to see you out of your pyjamas

What’s the point of getting dressed if you don’t have plans? It only means you have more washing to do. That’s your philosophy, and you really stick by it. Months and months of your life are spent in your pyjamas, because getting dressed without a purpose is a bit pointless tbh.

8. The majority of your texts are sent after 10pm

For someone who spends so much time on their phone, you’re really bad at replying to people when they message you. It’s probably because you’re constantly out of data, or maybe you just can’t really be bothered, or you leave your phone in random places around your house and forget about it, but for some reason you’re the most active at night. When you should be sleeping but you’re streaming countless YouTube videos instead. There’s no point trying to contact you at any other time of day.

9. Making plans with you is an impossible feat

You’re never really sure what you’re doing until the absolute last minute, so long term plans don’t really work for you. Who knows if you’re going to get into an argument and cancel all of your plans? Who knows if you have to drop everything at a moment’s notice to deal with the drama you’ve caused? Not you – that’s for sure.

10. You lose things all the time

No matter how hard you try, you will lose your phone, or your wallet, or your keys – or maybe even all three. You don't even need to be drunk for it to happen, just daily life will be enough reason for your things to go missing. You have too much going on to keep track of your prized possessions, so, of course, you lose them somehow. You don't really feel panic anymore when you don't feel your phone in your pocket – it's happened too many times.