All the things they didn’t tell you before you came to RoHo but probably should’ve
“Yeah, it’s like, pretty much in London”
Ahh Egham. The land dominated by the mighty VK and Runneymede Chicken. You probably did come to some open days before your application – and at all of the open days RoHo try to show you the best of the campus. However, they often fail to mention that aside from the campus itself there is literally nothing to do here in little old Egham. There are some things we just wish someone had told us before we came to RoHo, so let us both vent and share our wisdom with you:
It is not near London
The name Royal Holloway comes from the name of our founder, Thomas Holloway, not the region of North London as so many people mistakenly assume. We are, in fact, nowhere near London, really. We’re not even in a Zone. No Oyster cards here, thanks. We’re in a small town in Surrey, famed for our leafy campus. Although on the open day when they tell you it’s “only 40 minutes on the train from London” and it doesn’t sound too bad, just remember that this means 40 minutes from Waterloo, and not your actual destination. It takes an hour and a half to get to Shoreditch, for example.
It therefore shouldn’t really be included in the University of London
Have you ever noticed that most of the other members of the University of London don’t feel the need to proclaim it in their names? They know they’re in London, they’re chill. We are Royal Holloway UNIVERSITY OF LONDON. The name just screams insecurity. “Please don’t forget that we’re included, because we are. Geography doesn’t matter.”
If you hook up with someone, it’s guaranteed they’ll already have slept with two of your mates
The weekends are dead af
We only have 2 venues in which to have fun
Let’s be real – how can 9000 students be expected to fit into only 2 clubs? Only one is open at a time (no, only for Toast does Medicine count as actually being ‘open’). You’ll spend a significant amount of time waiting in the queues for the SU or Medicine, which aren’t that great once you’re inside, anyway. Toast, Scratch and the SU are your night out options in Egham.
But it’s okay, because we have Windsor and London, right?
WRONG. If you want to be hit on by 40 year old men in tight white Ralph Lauren shirts and Armani belts circa-2006, then Atik in Windsor is the club for you. That’ll also be £15 for an Uber. Equally, if you feel like blowing your entire loan (and some UCL students) on one, slightly shit night then London is a perfectly viable option. After all, it’s only 40 minutes into Waterloo from Egham. 40 MINUTES.
Halls Security are total killjoys
It might not be in London, but the drinks prices tell a different story
“What’s that?” you address the exhausted-looking first year behind the SU bar, “£2.20 for a VK?! Inflation is a bitch.” You then proceed to savour every gulp of your VK’s sugary goodness to make the most out of your money. In Newcastle you can get two treble shots for a fiver, just saying.
THERE IS NO MCDONALDS AROUND