A Royal Holloway student’s introduction to astrology

An introduction to learning more about astrology, for Royal Holloway students

People are sceptical about astrology and I don’t blame them – the idea that the stars, essentially flaming balls of gas well away from our lovely Earth, decide whether we enjoy small talk or not is a bit ludicrous. In a time like this, however, when any small comfort is as valuable as alcohol money was once upon a time, let’s just indulge ourselves because the past year has proven to defy the laws of reality to such an extent that balls of gas dictating our music taste isn’t so far-fetched.

Now astrology is a whole new ballpark with basically a language of its own (don’t ask me why ‘houses’ are a thing, I’m just here to see how the upcoming Mercury Retrograde will affect me) and we actually have a bunch of star signs and they all mean different things. Don’t worry I’m not going to provide a whole report on why people are intimidated by you based on your Rising Sign – I’ll leave this to Co-Star (it’s a great introduction to astrology if this article has peaked your interest. If you do get it, look forward to awkwardly asking your parents what time you were born).

The one sign you will all know though is your Sun sign – yes this is what those people mean when they used to ask what your star sign drunkenly in the SU (RIP drunken astrology talks at the SU bar). Basically, your sun sign is what most horoscopes are written around but in more “technical” terms it’s the sign revealing information about your identity. Seriously, take a look at Co-Star if this stuff interests you because it will do a much better job of describing it all than I am.

Come for the analysis, stay for the confusing notifications

To finish off this little astrology session, here are some free over-generalised descriptions of how you are fairing in this new semester based on your star sign.

Disclaimer – there is a less than 50 per cent chance these are true but it’s the average percentage for online horoscopes.

Capricorn (Dec 22 – Jan 20)

Current status: I get it – classes have just started and you have to start on notes for exams because of course, you’re already thinking about those, but just maybe take a break? (RIP your lockdown birthdays)

Lockdown coping mechanism: Learning a new language

Aquarius (Jan 21 – Feb 18)

Current status: You watch your lecture like anyone else watches a Netflix show – seriously it’s impressive that you can binge-watch them like you’re watching Bridgerton. (RIP your lockdown birthdays )

Lockdown coping mechanism: Painting

Pisces (Feb 19 – Mar 20)

Current status: You miss pub nights more than SU nights for no other reason except that you can actually talk to people when you’re at a pub night.  (potentially RIP for your birthdays?)

Lockdown coping mechanism: Meditation

It’s always because of Mars Retrograde

Aries (Mar 21 – Apr 20)

Current status: Lockdown hasn’t changed the fact you’re a Top Fan of either Hateoway or Overheard, if anything it’s established your position even more.

Lockdown coping mechanism: Netflix

Taurus (Apr 21 – May 20)

Current status: Thank you for posting photos of Virginia Water whenever you go for your daily walks – I’ve honestly forgotten what the outside world looks like.

Lockdown coping mechanism: Daily walks

Gemini (May 21 – Jun 21)

Current status: You’re just in a constant state of missing life before Covid and you take any form of social interaction you can – going to the library, socially distanced walks, even sending a message in a Teams meeting chat  – you will take anything.

Lockdown coping mechanism: Online meet ups with friends/reconnecting with old friends

RHUL Founders Building

Why does Thomas Holloway being a Virgo Sun not surprise me?

Cancer (Jun 22 – Jul 22)

Current status: You have started to enjoy online learning because you can keep interactions to a minimum and you make your learning space as comfy and cosy as possible.

Lockdown coping mechanism: Knitting or baking

Leo (Jul 23 – Aug 23)

Current status: You bought all those clothes for SU nights and face to face learning and now no one except your seminar group (when cameras are on) can see your new neon frilled denim jacket.

Lockdown coping mechanism: TikTok

Virgo (Aug 24 – Sep 23)

Current status: The reading room is your home now. You didn’t mean for it to happen, but somehow it has just happened.

Lockdown coping mechanism: Applying for jobs/internships

No Capricorns were harmed in the writing of this article

Libra (Sep 24 – Oct 23)

Current status: You’re Uber Eats history is something as follows: Pearls, Pearls, Tommy’s Kitchen, Pearls, Pearls, Village Pizza, Pearls. (Not talking from personal experience)

Lockdown coping mechanism: It changed every week

Scorpio (Oct 24 – Nov 22)

Current status: You are nocturnal now. I don’t know how you are attending online classes. No one does.

Lockdown coping mechanism: Painting/Music

Sagittarius (Nov 23 – Dec 21)

Current status: You sometimes forget we are on lockdown and learning is online – life is pretty much the same as before for you.

Lockdown coping mechanism: Sleep