Why does everyone at Nottingham hate Nottingham?

A recent survey of students ranked us outside the top 30


Analysis of over 25,000 student reviews on website Whatuni.com, has revealed that Nottingham Trent University has come 7th in the top 100 universities in the UK this year. The rankings took into account job prospects and student support, facilities, accommodation and student union.

That is great for Trent but where did we come? 6th… 3rd….1st!? No, we came 31st.

trent

As voted for by students, we came a whole 24 places behind Trent. Every year it appears Nottingham is slowly slipping down the league tables and Trent is crawling up. It appears to be down to our own dissatisfaction with our University that is bringing us low rankings.

We did however beat Oxbridge, by at least 20 places each. But why does everyone at Nottingham hate Nottingham?

We might as well start of with Uni Park campus. Even though it is leafy and green, Portland Hill makes life a struggles, it should be flattened because who can be bothered to climb that thing after Crisis.

Then there is the Downs – the best place for a stroll if you are a local dog walker or on a walk of shame – which should be renamed to the Ups to promote a more positive message on campus. Just off of the Downs you have the infamous Rutland Hall. It is a great example of the standard of catered halls we have at Nottingham. Rutland Hall should ideally be demolished and the space be used to build a hall that someone might actually want to live in.

Other horrendous buildings of questionable design include Coates Building  – having more entrances than rooms – and Hallward Library which is basically a sweatbox with a Starbucks. Not forgetting the gym which is currently a tent with a few cross trainers in it.

Downs

Jubilee Campus – the favourite place for business students and aspiring arsonists – isn’t much better with having the tallest free standing spliff in the UK and the architecture of a moon base.

Sutton Bonington is a glorified farm that the Uni sends badly behaved students to to suffer in isolation and bad wifi. And Kings Meadow Campus might as well be in Narnia for all that any UoN student cares.

As well as campus design and aesthetics being dissatisfying, the Uni and Students Union have mad some odd decisions recently that have even sparked protests and petitions.

Hundreds protested on campus over the arts faculty being cut by £900,000 on staff, but £40 million is being spent on the new sports centre and millions more on the new teaching building near Hallward. So the Uni is performing staff redundancies to build a teaching building that wont have any lectures to teach in it, but at least we will have a new swimming pool.

The Uni even tried to make Psychology students sit 60 credits of exams in just 27 hours. That’s less than two days to sit half a years worth of exams.  Our new SU president Ismail has already come under fire and hate for “buying the SU election” and a petition was set up to place a cap on campaign spending. You get given last year’s exam to sit if you are an economics student. Why would the Uni spend time making a new one when you can just use an old one.

The night life is certainly bordering on the inadequate. For example Forum, why does that still exist. Also you can’t deny you lose a part of your soul everytime you hear Baywatch come on at Ocean.

The other issue with Nottingham is that it is pretty boring. The most crazy thing to happen in Nottingham recently is that they have painted the 34 a new chrome colour. First years in catered halls can’t even chant any more. With having nothing else to do it turns out UoN turn to the more finer things in life. One of them being sex, with Nottingham being the most sexually active uni in the country.

Nottingham has always sat comfortably in the middle ground and long may it stay there.