Six cult Newcastle trends that are more of a let down than the Line of Duty Finale
WARNING: This article contains spoilers of the Line of Duty season six finale…
We had it with Game of Thrones, we had it with Bodyguard but never did we think Line of Duty would let us down the way it did on Sunday evening. We spent ten years obsessing over Jackie Laverty in that freezer only for the supposed mastermind behind it all to be Ian Buckells? Tragic. After spending the last two days internally crying over the disappointment the BBC has left me with since Sunday evening, I asked my colleagues at The Tab Newcastle to sum up six things in Newcastle that are on par in disappointment level as Sunday night’s Line of Duty finale.
The Orange Scooters
While we’ve all loved whipping it round Jesmond on the new electric scooters, let’s all admit they’re overpriced and literally no fun if you can’t do it drunk, which legally, you can’t. The reality is that you have to drive them on the road with a helmet on and it’s actually shit scary if you fully intended on it being an absolute joke. If you do drive round on one tipsy, it isn’t even as fun as you think, you’re bound to fall off, make a tit of yourself and pledge you’ll never ride one again. The fact Chloe wasn’t Tony Gates’ daughter after we all shouted it from the rooftops the last seven weeks is pale in comparison to the horror when you inevitably fall off one of those scooters. Don’t recommend.
We hate to be those people but when are we all actually going to accept that trebs taste like shit and everyone surely is just pretending to like them. If you genuinely like the taste of blue trebs, you honestly need to grow up and evaluate yourself, sorry bout it. The never ending discussion of whether they’re bubblegum, blueberry or even rasberry flavour only adds to this. However, absolute fair play to people who can drink them and are still able to stand up by the end of the night, weapons the lot of you.
There is literally SO much we can say about this place. It literally claims to be the biggest shopping centre in Europe yet has about 4 stores we can safely say we would go into and the rest is absolutely shambolic. Also can someone please clarify why on earth its literally called the metro centre but you can’t even get the metro there? Odd behaviour. It’s only saving grace is that it used to have Metroland, an amusement park where the cinema now is. If you never went when you were little, your childhood was shit. Sorry not sorry.
Flares, in theory, is literally the idea of a perfect night out. What more does any gal need to fulfil a night out than some stripper poles, an all night long High School Musical mega mix and somewhere you can unapologetically drink cheap WKD and call it funny. Flares is a classic, reliable hotspot for a society night out or for a bargain night out in freshers. However, it’s so overhyped by first years and we hate to say it but the reality is, it’s filled with older blokes thinking it’s the ultimate night out in the toon, and sadly after a few times isn’t worth the hype (we do still secretly love it though, and will be back when clubs open).
The Angel of the North
“Beautiful from the distance, shit up close”
Why were we expecting a gorgeous coffee shop, maybe even a gift shop? There’s literally a coffee stall and some football pitches, save yourself the bus trip. Plus, it’s not even a real Geordie since its in Gateshead.
The Jesmond Dene waterfall
We can’t be the only ones who, when hearing that the Dene had a waterfall, expected nothing unlike Niagara Falls. However, after trekking fifteen minutes and even googling how to find it, the resulting waterfall is small and a little disappointing, to be honest. Stay in Pets Corner and don’t bother making the trip.