5 types of student at the Robbo

And none of them are revising

With deadlines looming and exam pressure increasing, the Robinson library has become the new hiding ground over the trebles bars. Forget cheesy chat up lines and dance moves, asking for a biro is your best bet around here.

It’s okay, you’re not alone, we’ve all been subject to an all nighter stint with the mistress Mrs Robinson. But which type are you?

1. The ‘sits at the Robbo for ten hours but doesn’t actually do anything’

iPlayer and Facebook? Now that's just greedy

iPlayer and Facebook? Now that’s just greedy

Okay, well done, you’ve actually made it to the library – trekking from halls or Jesmond deserves a cheeky five minute peek on Facebook. But this type of student does this for the whole library stint – legs up, snapchatting ugly faces, YouTube or iplayer going, no work is actually completed. So do all those poor geeks who can’t find a free space to work a favour and GO HOME.

2. The tactical napper

3 hours later...

3 hours later…

A regular at the library, this type of student comes prepared: flask, sandwiches, crisps, you name it, they’ve got it. Experienced in the hardworking stints of the Robinson, these students even schedule a cheeky 15 minute nap at the desk to get their brain cells working again. Being caught in the act or on camera does not phase these library geniuses.

3. The Robbo prankster

The classic condom in hood

Shouldn’t YOU be revising?

Classic condom in hood

Classic condom in hood

You’ve been for an hour, your brain’s tired – it’s time for procrastination. These students come to the Robinson purerly for procrastination. Yes, we mean you, putting condoms on the backs of other students, stealing pens, writing swear words in the middle of essays on abandoned laptops. We know it’s you. Hats off to the student who replaced all the keyboard keys last night – the competition for the best prankster is underway.

4. The PDA overloaders

Get a room

Get a room

N’awww, these couples have come to the Robinson for a romantic “his and hers” revision session. STOP. TURN AROUND. AND GO HOME. We feel sick at the thought of the amount of work we have to do and seeing your game of tonsil tennis in the middle of the library just pushes us over the edge. Stop dry humping one another and get on with your revision.

5. The super trooper all nighter

You can do it soldier

You can do it soldier

It’s finally here. Deadline day is tomorrow, and so far you’re 30 words down out of 3,000. Pro Plus and Red Bull are your only friends on this lonely overnight mission. Typically finishing at eight or nine the following morning, you haplessly stumble to submit your essay before becoming a party animal down at Cosmic the following night.

So put your heels away, the vodka on hold, as the Robinson becomes the place to be for the next three weeks. Sniff.