16 diss topics for if you were studying Lancaster University students

No. seven: A study into how the campus ducks raise the morale of Lancaster students

For third years, the biggest regret in their academic careers may be choosing to write the dreaded 10,000 word dissertation which keeps them up to ungodly hours in the morning with only coffee and empty Redbull cans to show for their exhaustion. Some students may have dodged a bullet and opted out from doing a diss. But for those of you who didn’t get a choice, how are you doing? We hope you’re OK.

But to those second years who haven’t started yet, who are currently trapped in the turmoil of deciding the topic of their dissertation, we understand your stress. But have you ever thought what diss topics you could choose from if you were studying the life of Lancs Uni students in their natural habitat? We’ve got you covered.

How long would the Greggs queue need to be to deter students?

It’s noon, you’re passing through Alex Square, you forgot to bring lunch to the library. It happens to the best of us. But how long would the queue to Greggs need to be for Lanc students to dismiss the idea of getting a steak bake and opt for a Spar meal deal instead?

The findings may be surprising.

A social experiment on the lives of students living in Bowland Tower

To those students who wanted to live in Bowland Tower: what were your reasons behind that decision? Have you always fantasied about living in a tall tower ever since watching Rapunzel as a child? Are you so introverted you wanted to be physically as far away from others as possible? These are questions we need to know the answers to.

What your go-to floor in the library says about your social life

You always go to the Reading Room and spend five hours studying making neat mind maps? There is a lot to unpack about that.

You only ever book out group study spaces but never get any work done? Just as interesting.

How slow walkers on the Spine effect the daily lives of Lancaster students

There is nothing more irritating than a slow walker on the Spine when you are desperate to bagsy your favourite seat in the library or you’re starving for a Greggs. Being stuck behind that one person who has all the time in the world can disrupt your whole day. But to what extent does this slow walking stranger effect our day?

The study of why people think it’s acceptable to walk so slow down the Spine is another question altogether.

Are Fylde students really the best at sport?

The stereotypes of the colleges are strong, but do all Fylde students have the ability to run five miles without breaking a sweat? Are all Fylde students gifted with the ability to play any sport just because they decided to choose that college as it has a central location?

Many tests could be done to see if this myth is true or if it is a complete lie.

Does flatcest ever lead to a healthy committed relationship?

Is getting with your flatmate in freshers serve as a great way to start your uni experience? Maybe so. But does this ever result in a happy, healthy, unproblematic relationship?

Someone needs to do this study as the findings may be revolutionary.

A study into how the campus ducks raise the morale of Lancaster students

You could write this dissertation in one night. The answer is: yes!

The probability of making friends with a stranger in the Sugar toilets

Not much data would need to be gathered. The likelihood is about 99.99 per cent. Would you still remember their name a week later? Just check your Snapchat as you got all their social media.

Do the people who ask questions in lectures really go on to get the highest grades?

This would be a very interesting topic. There always seems to be that one person in every lecture who thinks it’s their job to educate the rest of the class by asking what they believe to be the “deep” questions. Do they go onto getting first class honours? Would the rest of us benefit from raising our hand once in a while and asking a question?

Who knows.

Will Lancaster students ever form the same bond with Norma the tree as they did with Norman?

You could walk around the library with a clipboard and questionnaire, asking people on a scale from one to 10, how attached they felt Norman compared to Norma. Will students ever form a strong bond with Norma the tree? Not while memories of Norman live on.

Does your order at Grizedale bar reveal more about your personality than your zodiac?

If you’re a Gemini you order a Blue lagoon.

Someone needs to test this out.

Would the university cease to exist if it abolished the college system?

The University would probably crumble to the ground without the iconic Grizedale cocktails and Cartmel and Lonsdale feeling like another dimension. Would Lancaster University be able to attract enough students without the lure of the unique college system?

A study into the well-being of students who have never been to Juicafe

Juicafe will change your life. That’s it, that’s the dissertation.

How much money would Lancs students save if they didn’t do their weekly shop at Spar?

Is it convenient? Yes. Is it worth it?


How likely a Lancaster student would drop out if they didn’t get their favourite order from Greggs

A stressful Tuesday in exam season is bad enough. But if Greggs had ran out of pizza slices just before you went to order, it may be the last straw and you’re on the Train line app faster than anyone can say “vegan sausage roll”.

To what extent would a Lancaster student prioritise a Whoops Wednesday in Sugar over their degree?

Survey says… the greatest degree of extent.

There are so many dissertation topic choices for if your degree was studying the lives of Lancaster students. Are we all just so predicable? Or would the findings be eye-opening?

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