An ode to Pound Bakery: the gift that keeps on giving

Another unsung hero of Lancs

One thing that everyone is missing about Lancs is the ease of access to Greggs on campus. A staple of the British lunchtime, Greggs has been there for us since day one. Providing a good breakfast meal deal, and then offering us nourishment after queuing up for 15 minutes through wind, sleet, and hail in Alexandra Square.

But Greggs isn’t the only pastry-serving place in Lancaster. Akin to Lidl, there is another criminally underrated establishment here in Lancs, and it’s time that we right this wrong. Pound Bakery needs the credit that it wholeheartedly deserves. So here it is. Our ode to Pound Bakery.

The Price

Okay, it is what it says on the tin. You can get baked goods for £1. Simples. Whereas at Greggs you’d be lucky to change from a quid for any pastry there, at Pound Bakery you can choose two items and it only costs one of your good English pounds. Two sausage rolls? One pound. Bean and sausage melt and a meat and potato pasty? One pound. A slice of pizza and a cheese and onion pasty? One pound.

It truly is magical.

I know what you’re thinking. “But Pound Bakery is just a bit… y’know…” and yes, I do know. But in order to separate the wheat from the chaff, they also offer a premium range. Offering items such as the “Jumbo” steak bake, some traditional Cornish pasties, and (when the time comes) the festive turkey pasty – all of which can be purchased for one pound (or less). If you want more bang for your buck, then you’re truly a fool if you choose Greggs over Pound Bakery. There, I said it.

The Selection

The range, people, the RANGE. Yes, Greggs has a good range too, but Pound Bakery is on another level. Not only do they sell beloved pastries like the sausage roll and the steak bake, but they’ve diversified into selling sandwiches, soups, hot drinks, and even birthday cakes. Yeah. Birthday cakes. They also sell freshly baked breads, and different cupcakes/muffins from day to day. Do you get all of that range from Greggs? No.

Greggs is very much the person in class who puts very little effort in, yet still gets a 2:1 or a First. Pound Bakery, however, is the hard-working, well-deserving kid who rightfully claims good grades, but is overlooked because they don’t make a spectacle of themselves in the seminars.

It was Plato, I believe, who said: “Foolish is the man who flexes and goes to Greggs; wise is the man who ventures to Pound Bakery and takes advantage of their plentiful selection of pastries.”

Also, if you’re of the vegan persuasion then they’ve also got a couple of vegan items: the vegan sausage roll (obviously), and also the veg curry roll – which I’ve been told is actually rather good.

So when somebody tells you that Greggs have lots on offer, feel free to turn and spit in their face – for they are uneducated, and need to be taught a lesson. Though best not to spit at them during this pandemic. That’s a step too far.

I mean, look at the size of this menu. It was so big I had to zoom out to 50 percent on my browser so I could screenshot it, and it’s still blurry. It’s a unit. Look at the size of the lad:

Is that the range you’d get from Greggs? I’d bet it’s got more items than most restaurants have – and though in the war of pastries it most definitely is quality over quantity, Pound Bakery has got both. It has a good selection, and lots of it. They also sell chicken nuggets, because why wouldn’t they?

Not to mention that it never runs out of pastries. The number of times I’ve been into Greggs where they only have one poxy sausage roll left is innumerable. Don’t waste your time. Go to Pound Bakery.

The Quality

Greggs’ products have an unnatural ability to either be served so hot that they’ll scorch off your taste buds, or so cold that you’re basically eating an ice pop. There’s no in between. “They’re not hot, is that okay?” is what you’ll often hear at any Greggs counter. Never would this be heard at any self-respecting Pound Bakery.

The products are always at that perfect temperature. Every time. Even fresh out of the oven, they’ve cooled down just the right amount. That’s some high quality produce right there.

Also, the actual quality of the food is pretty good. Any Greggs sausage roll will burn your mouth at the first bite, which is probably good because it means you won’t be able to taste the flood of grease entering your mouth. You don’t get that kind of nonsense with Pound Bakery. Not to mention that the Pound Bakery portions are actually bigger than the ones you’d get at Greggs.

I think the only product I’d rather buy from Greggs would be the coffee – but who goes to Greggs for coffee?

One second year student told us: “On the weekly trek to Lidl I always go into Pound Bakery with my flatmates. It’s so cheap, and the food is actually pretty decent. Once you go in there and realise how much money you’re gonna save instead of going to Greggs, it’s just a no-brainer, really.”

It’s just convenient

We’ve all seen the hefty queue for Greggs on Alex Square. We’ve all felt the disappointment of getting to the counter, only to find that they’ve ran out of steak bakes, or God forbid, the chicken bakes have ran out too.

Pound Bakery on the other hand won’t give you that kind of hassle. Most people in town would flock to Greggs at lunchtime, leaving the more educated person to saunter into Pound Bakery, pay less money than in Greggs, get more food than in Greggs, at higher quality than in Greggs, and faster than in Greggs. Anyone sensing a pattern?

At the end of the day, when all is said and done, Pound Bakery isn’t going anywhere. It isn’t competing for Greggs’ customers, because it knows that it has its own loyal fanbase. But Pound Bakery really does need some more love. It’s a godsend to students living in town, and to be honest it really is a convenient place to drop into when you’re on the go.

Or I’ll put it this way: Pound Bakery is like Coldplay. Everyone pretends to hate it, but you’re parents love it and secretly so do you.

Sausage roll, anyone?

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