Confessions of an online shopaholic: Cardiff students’ most rogue lockdown buys
Tiara’s from Denmark, 3kg of mini eggs and vibrators ofc
During the October firebreak, it seems many of us have shamefully fallen back into our spending habits from June, naturally buying all the student essentials. From giant balloons to vibrators, lockdown 2.0 saw the money Cardiff students should’ve been spending in the pub clicked away online.
We asked Cardiff shopaholics to confess some of the most questionable ways they have splashed the cash this lockdown, and here’s what they had to say…
One student spent £200 on gym clothes
The definition of ‘all the gear and no idea’, because its about time we all admitted that the novelty of a Chloe Ting home workout – if it ever existed in the first place – has worn off. We hope you used student discount because the only place you’re wearing your Bo+Tee sets this lockdown is on the sofa with a Dominos. The gym’s are closed, remember?
It seems everyone bought bucket hats and rainbow flares
Brb sobbing. This is one way of thinking the return of festival season back into existence. Keep dreaming of muddy fields and sleepless nights guys because idk when they’ll be back.
A projector for Shrek movie nights
Clearly this is a house with their priorities straight, who said you can’t put a price on happiness?
3kg of mini eggs made it to someone’s basket
One student got it so right that it hurts I didn’t think of it myself. Bound to be gone in a matter of days, if not minutes, the mini egg gods are here to reassure (and terrify) us that Easter is just under five months away.
Everyone bought hair dye
We all know Brad Mondo is shaking, and your hairdresser is crying. Of course, your hair is frazzled and the GC is ashamed of you.
Coloured bob wigs for Halloween
You have to stop letting Tik Tok force you into buying useless things. Halloween is over and you will never see that £20 again.
Apparently students are buying Louboutins now?
You can tell no Cardiff student is tackling the SU stairs this year (*cries*). For better or for worse, we have clearly all changed for the bottomless brunches of Dirty Martini. I wish my student budget was large enough to buy some Louboutins, student finance sort me out.
A tambourine to take you back to primary school days
How to get your Cathays neighbours to hate you 101. How could anyone say no to the background rattle of a tambourine during their 9am Zoom calls? Stevie Nicks, eat your heart out.
Who doesn’t need a vibrator in a lockdown?
Apparently this firebreak was 17 days too long, but desperate times call for desperate measures. This student clearly isn’t bothered by the revelation that their postie knows EXACTLY what discreet packaging is. I’m sure he understands, don’t worry.
Your waxer is closed? No problem, get your own kit
Because beauty really is pain. This investment must have all been part of the lockdown glow up we all promised we’d have this time around.
One student got a tiara shipped from Denmark
The distances we will go for a Zoom social in our uni rooms know no bounds. Fair play to this student for taking it a step further and shipping what we are sure will be a heirloom for the grandkids.
Cathays karaoke means buying a car microphone
The appeal of narrating stranger’s lives from the comfort of your car called for a huge demand of microphones this lockdown. We’ll be sure to add it to our list of fun lockdown outings, with a big Tesco trip and maccies drive thru just in case of a dreaded lockdown 3.0.
One student got an online grocery shop of ONLY alcohol
No explanation necessary. A uni house just isn’t complete without a row of empty alcohol bottles. In these pressing times, bringing YOLO to your living room is an obvious life choice that we can all get behind.
A fresher bought a master key to turn off automatic lights
Oh what I’d do to be a fresher with my biggest concern being hiding from the automatic lights in my flat. Apparently long gone are the days of tin foiling your taly kitchen ceiling for any sort of darkness, and ngl we’re kinda sad about it. Kids these days.
“A giant balloon to put my flatmate in”
One student told The Cardiff Tab that they’d bought “a giant balloon to put my flatmate in”. A somewhat concerning confession, but I’m glad to see Cardiff students finding creative ways to enforce social distancing, even if it means making a literal 2m bubble around themselves. Tbh, its an upgrade from vacuum packing ourselves into bin bags.
So there we have it: all of Cardiff shopaholics most rogue lockdown buys this firebreak. The general consensus to coping with lockdown? Retail therapy and multiple “your order is out for delivery” emails a day.
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