The most rogue things Cardiff students are selling online right now

Some of you really have no morals…

From vibrators to used fake tan, Cardiff students really have tried to sell it all this term. In these pressing times, it seems many of us have been led to desperation to make a quick buck. Here’s some of the most hilarious things Cardiff students have tried to sell:

A “slightly used” vibrator…

Desperate times call for even more desperature measures. Surely you’d be wanting to keep this with the whole sex being illegal thing going on right now?

A nandos sauce packet

Because what student can afford a whole bottle, right? This was probably one of the sachets that came in that Freshers box we all got.

Ummm a tiki bar, yes please

This was one of the more impressive items for sale. A handmade sign, grass skirt and floral finish, this tiki bar was no disappointment. The sellers went as far to call it “Cardiff’s highest quality homemade bar”.

A limited edition YOLO VK (excuse me whilst I sob)

Oh what I’d pay to be in the SU with two VK’s in hand right now. This one really did pull the heart strings. This may as well be a collectable item at this point because idk when we’ll ever get to go back to YOLO.

5 bottles of used fake tan?

We all know a Cardiff gal loves a bit of fake tan, and I’m surprised someone was willing to part with theirs. I know we’re in isolation, but after all it has done for you, is there really any need to desert the trusty fake tan?

A lonely Tom Holland cardboard cut out

Is it really a uni house without a cardboard cut out? The seller explained “we bought our housemate a life-sized Tom Holland for her birthday, but she wasn’t willing to buy him a seat on her flight back to Singapore so now he risks going on the bonfire. Save a (cardboard) life today and DM if you want this beautiful man for your own home”. Somebody snap him up please, he doesn’t deserve to die this way.

A spunk-free sex game…

“one free sex game up for grabs, if you’re looking to spice up your love life look no further”. What a kind gesture. The seller went on to assure potential customers that it was “not spunk on the lid btw”, although they never clarified what substance it actually was.

Funny bones Frank

“Hello my names Frank and I’m looking for some new housemates for next year. I don’t take up much room and I’ve got funny bones. Love a ciggie and a good time. Come pick me up today (serious offers only)”. Tbh, Frank sounds like a nice enough guy , and he even plays the guitar apparently.

Second hand inflatable swan

“Do you want to swim like a swan? Well my second hand inflatable is the one for you. No space in the car to take home….will anti bac before collection”. I’m glad to see Cardiff students are Covid-aware, ensuring that their products go out in the safest way possible. I mean, £100k is a bit steep, but who can put a price on happiness, right?

Swim Shady’s old fish tank

One student decided to give away their fish tank, with all the bells and whistles included. They notified customers that “all fish have already vacated the property” and even added a testimonial from previous tenant, Swim Shady – “couldn’t have asked for a better tank!”. Just look at that pink gravel, Elle Woods would be proud.

Is it a chair or a piece of art?

One student was selling what looks like a broken chair for fifty quid. When you think of it as a broken chair, that seems pretty extortionate. If you look at it through an artistic eye, however, then this chair seems like a bargain.

A legless trampoline

This seller posted the item as “top of an exercise trampoline (NO legs though)”. Although they did go on to offer a solution, saying, “you could probably put bricks under it”. We’ve all ended up legless in Cardiff, can you really blame the poor trampoline?

A christmas tree?

If your uni house christmas tree makes it past the actual christmas period, that’s quite the achievement, so fair play to these guys. Not sure there’s a huge demand for christmas trees in June on the other hand.

A home for King Kong, Eminem and Ed Sheeran

Imagine living in a house with these three legends, surprised this one didn’t get snapped up straight away. This wasn’t a seller, rather someone looking to find a home for their three beloved pets. I mean they even come with the Spongebob house, how can you say no to that?

There you have it, all the weird and wonderful items being flogged by the students of Cardiff. p.s. if you bought the vibrator, please give it a good wash with the anti-bac… coronavirus isn’t the only thing you might catch!

Related stories recommended by this writer:

Let’s test how Welsh you’ve really become since university

Add these questions to your pub quizzes to test your knowledge of the ‘Diff

Which Gavin and Stacey character should you be isolating with?