An ode to all those “catch ups” that never happened

May they rest in peace

“We need to catch-up” is probably one of the most commonly used but untrue phases in the English Language.

We say it, your parents say it, in fact everyone you know says it.

You know it’s not true, your mate knows that it won’t happen but why do we still say it knowing full well that a “catch up” will just never take place?

It’s socially expected

It would just be weird if you didn’t say it. It’s on the same level as asking how someone is or muttering “you alright?” when you bump into an acquaintance after a night out. It’s just what everyone does and you wouldn’t want to be seen as being rude or that you don’t understand the social norm.

Yeah that will totally happen

It convinces you that you still have a social life

This one only works for a short while but is a valid reason nonetheless. You can persuade the niggling voice in your head that you still have a life despite it telling you otherwise. I have friends yeah? I do cool stuff and go to quirky places and am interesting and fun because I want to catch up with people. Totally not lying there.

It makes a conversation less awkward

You saw your friend on the way back from the gym when you were covered in sweat or on the way to the lecture when you were in a hurry. You needed something quick to say, something that cut short the conversation so you can get home because you’re tired or you’re in a rush – Let’s just catch up sometimes yeah? It makes you feel less cheeky about asking for their notes, it makes it much less awkward if you play the catch up card. Always better to put things off for another time.

You kind of have to stick in on the end

It’s an appealing idea

The idea of “catching-up” seems rather appealing. Indeed, even the phase “catch up” sounds promising. Heading to the pub or a restaurant, ordering cheesy chips and your favourite cocktail and sinking back into the comfy sofa, chatting shit with your mate and instagramming your dessert. Why not? The idea seems even better than the actual activity itself.

It makes you seem like a good friend

You don’t want them to think that you’re a terrible friend and couldn’t care less whether or not you see them again. If you never say that you want to catch up then how else will they know that you miss them? It’s all about keeping up appearances.

Whatever reason you do it for, keep saying it. We all know that you’re lying anyway.