How to not annoy your Welsh mate, by a Welsh person
Don’t call us English
The Welsh are proud creatures. We live in a land where dragons roam and our cheers are louder than sirens booming through the air.
However, we do have one flaw – the English seriously know how to piss us off.
So listed below are ways you can learn not to. Trust me, your Welsh housemate will appreciate it.
Don’t insult the rugby
Like I said, we’re proud creatures. Nothing pisses us off more than the English in their rugby attire, especially when it’s the same colour as the beautiful Welsh jersey.
Rugby is something of a national treasure to us. Even if we’re not totally sure what’s happening or don’t completely know the rules, we’re still brought up on it. As we’re pulled out of the womb, we’re carted down the pub to watch the game, and we’re taught to love two things: when Wales win, and when England lose.
Do not call it the Principality Stadium. It is the Millennium Stadium and always will be.
Don’t ask us to sing
Despite popular belief, not all the Welsh can sing, so don’t ask us to. If we’re drunk, we’ll belt our tuneless hearts out, though.
Don’t say we shag sheep
It’s an old joke. We’ve been hearing it since we were ten, think of something more original – seriously.
Don’t pretend you know Cardiff better than we do
We’re from Wales, so we know our capital city pretty well. We know you’re trying to be helpful sometimes, but it’s so annoying when after I say: “I need to go to Zara today”, you say: “Oh, yeah! That’s on Queen Street. It has a lot of shops there and the St David’s shopping centre is right opposite, too!”
I know. We know the way around our capital city.
Know Wales as a whole
Remember when I said there were exceptions? This is one of them. There are lots of places in Wales, just like there are lots of places in England. Try not to be ignorant. You can’t say “this is my Welsh friend,” and then, when asked where from in Wales, you have no idea.
Maybe learn some places, because places in Wales are quite different. North Wales, South Wales, West Wales, if you want to be simple, but if you have a Welshie as a friend, learn their hometown, and maybe find it on a map so it doesn’t feel to them like you don’t even give a shit about where they’re from.
Don’t imitate the wrong Welsh accent
Similarly, our accents are different, too, so try not to be insensitive. The Northerners sound nothing like the Southerners, who sound nothing like Cardiffians. Even people from different valleys have slightly different accents when they live fifteen minutes away from each other.
Don’t mention The Valleys
Everyone hates it. It’s not an accurate depiction. Just leave it.
The Welsh Government Grant
It’s not our fault that our government are nicer and kinder and better. Don’t blame us for paying less for uni than you.
Do not insult the curry sauce. We have it on everything from chips to Chinese. It’s beautiful, and you will love it if you try it.
Wales is not in England
Wales is in the UK, but it’s not in England. Just having to explain this gives me a headache. It’s bad enough having to explain it to people when we’re on holiday, but not you, too. They are separate countries, and you should know it. We sure as hell do.
That being said, even though you English can piss us off, we sure as hell love you, so let’s all hug it out.
Just not on game day.