Breathalysers will make the SU a more dangerous place – so what’s the point?

It means more drugs, binge drinking and brash bouncers

Ah, the Union, that glorious student haven. Full to the brim with cheap booze for the messiest nights out, cheap food for those of you who are more interested in cheesy chips than cheesy tunes and corny chat up lines from those animals in the corner, sorry I mean rugby boys.

What a time to be alive. Until now.


It’s a no from us

The students’ Union are now trialling breathalysers to be done at random on the door of YOLO and Flux. If you come up red, you’re out on the street. This means you can only drink less than 4 bevs before hitting Y Plas.

The SU will be profiting big time on this new enforcement, with Y Plas-goers entering sober and buying copious amounts of VKs just so you aren’t followed around by the shadow of your dignity on the dance floor. But why is no one checking when we leave? Surely it’s better to be drunker in a safer environment, rather than causing carnage on the streets of Cardiff.

If the Union think this is going to work then they don’t understand us. It will by no means stop drunken violence, decrease the bum grabbing or control the behaviour of just a few who let the team down. So why are they doing it? There has been no event that has taken place to cause this grey cloud to rain down on us everywhere. We will still get just as drunk. It’s what we do. And we’ll do it in an even shorter time frame. Everyone will be wanting to reach the same level, you’ve just reduced the time frame in which they’ve got to do it – once they’re inside the club.


Turning wine back to water at pre drinks

And what do you do when you can’t pre drink? Turn to powder and pills. This abomination will see Wednesdays and Saturday nights become a mash up of sports socials ft. Treatment to make one hell of a dirty night. Teams will be sniffing the white dust off some poor fresher’s tits because they can’t have their beer. The Medics will be so gone they might even forget to tell us they do Medicine. It just doesn’t seem right or fair.

It also gives the bouncers an opportunity to be even bigger baboons then they already are. They already hold too much power and have now gained another reason to kick people out, along with: “he’s ginger” and “I don’t like his walk”. This is, of course, in between playing a game of whose breathalyser is bigger.

On a serious note, the SU should be a place with us in mind. We understand the need for control but don’t mess with our fun. Don’t try and make money out of drunk vulnerability and don’t be so short sighted as to not see the obvious consequences. Drugs, brash bouncers and more binge drinking.