BNOC of the year: Heat three

I bet you haven’t been on Take Me Out


George Sandford


“That guy on the ski trip” – George is known for his looseness on university sports trips. On the coach to Val Thorens he showed his drunken super-strength by spectacularly breaking his coach seat, before proceeding to piss all over it – there’s just no messing with this guy. George furthered his claim BNOC status by becoming a missing persons case on the slopes, eventually being found the next day in his hotel room, without his jeans on. Loose.

Lauren TMO

That girl with the dreds from Cardiff Met that was on Take Me Out. Lauren has been described as a chubby chaser. Her celebrity crush is Seth Rogen and described Adam Jones as her ideal man… out of everyone on the planet. She sacrificed 4 weeks of uni life and two assessment deadlines to film for the dating show and indulge in a free trip to ‘Fernandos’/Tenerife.

She’s got an illegally wicked arse and can twerk like Beyonce. To most people’s dismay, Lauren regularly eats Home Bargains knock off Nutella straight from the tub.

Freddie Gordon


Most know Freddie by the name DJ polar. You will catch him behind the decks of any serious house party. He is also blessed with impeccable chat and is a true Cardiff heart-throb, regularly chirpsing over his decks which has led to a lot of trouble from his better half. Their relationship has led to the couple becoming known, by his own admission, as the Posh and Becks of Cathays. He holds it down in Flux. Kills it in Cathays and loses it in Brussels.

Spen Jeffs

Spenny has risen from the rags of Cartwright-Court fresher to the riches of big name status in three rollercoaster years. The Geography student helped create the now infamous CPLAN society, giving Britain’s future town-planners an ideal opportunity to get wasted, and is regularly seen in the hottest nightclubs and takeaways across town. He is, by nature, game as a badger.

Big Jeffs has achieved BNOC-level womanising across the entire Northern Hemisphere, once even ending a short-term relationship with the waving-hand emoji. Not convinced? He also does a smashing haircut.