Rest In Peace, The Lash.
BREAKING NEWS: The Lash is closing after Varsity, tissues at the ready.
That’s right folks, our beloved Lash is coming to its end.
As the Union is undergoing a £1 million pound refurb after Easter, we have been informed that Varsity Lash will be the last Lash ever. It’s ok if you want to cry a little or tweet about it:
Everyone remembers their first experience of the Lash. Mine saw me dancing next to a couple having sex on the Solus dance floor. There really is nothing quite like the Lash. And from everyone’s reactions, I think you all agree.
It will be an emotional time for all of us. Where now will sports teams gather to molest each other? Where will it be ok to don our fancy dress en masse? What will Mamas Kebab now do on a Wednesday night? I’m afraid I don’t have the answers to any of these questions.
All I can say is that all good things must come to an end. And as our duty to The Lash, the place where dignities are lost and friendships made, we should send it off with the bang it deserves.
It makes me sad to think that the new influx of fresher’s will never get to experience the joys of The Lash, and it will now just have to remain in our blissful drunken memories. RIP The Lash, going but never forgotten.