Date my housemate
Are you looking for love? Not very picky or shallow? You might want to have a read of this.
My mission this term is to find a girlfriend for my housemate, Joe. He has been wallowing in self-pity for too long and I’ve decided to take on the challenge. Therefore, the aim of this article is to give an insight into his personality, his image, and hopefully a glimpse into his heart.
He was reluctant to divulge too much information, but with a little bit of persuasion (and with the promise of maybe finding him some fit girls) he provided me with this list of his dateable qualities:
- 6ft. 4
- Extremely well-built Italian stallion
- Loves cooking, painting, and making sweet love.
- Always up for a laugh.
- Would like to meet a Natalie Portman lookalike or outgoing sex maniac.
However, in the interest of honesty (and with the hope of actually finding him a girlfriend) my housemates and I have compiled a slightly more realistic list of his qualities:
- Tall-ish (pushing 5ft11)
- Slightly lanky but with the potential to bulk up if sent to the gym
- Quite lazy but can cook an average to poor Carbonara
- Loves to laugh at his own jokes
His favourite song is: Freedom by George Michael. What a catch.
Finally, to clinch the deal, I have taken some photos of him. Hopefully he’ll steal your heart with his modest, but affective, poses.
So if there is a lucky lady out there in Cardiff who thinks ‘Yeah, I like the sound of this guy, I’ll give him a go’ don’t hesitate to get in touch with me at firstname.lastname@example.org. You could bag yourself a cheeky date with the self-titled lothario of Cathays.
You know you want to!