The Tab News Column Week 5: F*** tha Police

Juxta-posed with wholesome welfare


Welfairies

Cambridge college welfare reps mobilised against the Week 5 blues, utilising all the artillery they could muster to keep Cambridge smiling.

Schemes ranged from Catz's "welfairy" anonymous pidge gifting system (an idea also seen in Magdalene), to JCR-organised snacks, to college yoga, to John's students decorating their own cupcake.

We are 5/8 of the way through term, we are exhausted, we're about ready to give up on our degree, but we had sugar and zen to pull us through! Thank you welfairies.

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Police RAIDS

Well, "raid" may be a bit hyperbolic.

There have been numerous reports of the police approaching and fining students for not having bike lights or helmets.

It appears that the Cambridgeshire Constabulary is determined to crack down on dodgy cyclists, so we recommend investing in some protective gear (of course, we always recommend that regardless of legal penalty because health and safety is always key!)

The Great Escape

In the latest edition of the Medwards Bunkabin Saga, some of students have moved out of their shed-like accommodation.

Very surreptitiously, a small number of the Medwards students who had been residing in the bunkabins have moved back into standard accommodation. Why this has been kept on the DL, we are not sure. I suspect foulplay.

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US Midterms

As if we haven't gone on about this enough, we'd like to publicise once again our liveblog of the US midterm coverage at the Union containing both results and analysis.

In summation: the Democrats took the House, the Republicans took the Senate, David Runciman thinks that this has made Trump's presidency moderately more secure (very debatable), and there were TWO FIGHTS at the Union.

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We stayed up all night for you, our dedicated readers. You're welcome.

Vomit-induced mutiny

To continue the disgusting news of last week, someone threw up all over the staircases in Emma and the bedders refused to clean it up.

Fair enough tbh. Clean up your own sick, you heathen.