Stop moaning about Cambridge clubbing

Picture this: you're sitting in hall on a Friday night. Everyone has had a busy week and wants to go out and get trollied. The debate is Fez or Life, with your edgy friend even suggesting a rogue Cindies. The debate's hot, fiery even. And then one friend at the end of the table pipes up: 'Who cares? Cambridge nightlife is bad wherever you go.' Everyone murmurs in agreement – it's a well known truth of Cambridge after all. But where will you be at midnight? Shivering in the queue to life, watching as they trickle people in in a one in, one out basis.

So why are we like this? If the nightlife is truly so bad why is it a ridiculous effort to get into the main club nights? Are we just all so delirious that any dark, VK supplying environment will do? Then why don't you just go to one of your friend's room with a bottle wine, dim the lights and play some cheesy tunes? Much cheaper and a lot less treacherous weather wise.

I mean sometimes you even have to queue for Fez…

To fit in with the narrative, I want to think that we've all just dropped our standards since coming to Cambridge. That what would have once been a complete shambles of a night is now a complete banger. But if I compare nights out here to nights out at home there's not a lot of difference. Take away the Disney tunes and VKs, add some creepy guys with dodgy tans in their mid twenties and you might as well be in one of Essex's finest.

If anything, here I don't have to work out how much cab money to pay, nor whether or not I'll see old faces that'll taint the evening. Classic Cambridge nights are simple and uncomplicated. Especially because it's socially acceptable to be in bed by half one.

I mean this could be Essex, it could be Cindies, it could be in Lincolnshire who knows?! ((point is all clubs are the same))

Maybe that last paragraph was completely unrelatable to you. As I've never branched out to the heady heights of a night out in a city (bar Cam) perhaps I'm unqualified to talk. To be honest, I'm sure in London, Manchester, Sheffield there are amazingly insane nights out that here we couldn't even dream of. But what I'm really saying is that Cambridge nights need more credit. Clubs everywhere are pretty much the same. Dark, play average music, questionable toilets, designed so you need to be drunk to really enjoy them. Compare Cambridge to most of our home towns and I can't imagine the differences are vast.

Okay. So you're still unconvinced? Still scoffing at the idea a night out in Cambridge can be good? Then you probably need to branch out a bit. Try a night that isn't the usual. Lola's on a Wednesday? Not massively busy but is cheap with a nice vibe. Glitterbomb? Not for everyone, but one of my personal favourite nights out in Cambridge.

ArcSoc? Over pretentious and hard to get tickets for. But a completely different experience with the most random music and decoration that you won't get out of Cambridge. Turf? I mean I don't get the hype but I have friends that love it. After all your taste for a night out won't be the same as mine. And if you're the kinda person who proclaims all of Cambridge night life is bad you also probably think you're edgy enough to be a turf kinda person. Just saying.

Cambridge nights can be #edgy #ArcSocbestdressed

Now, here's the nice wrapping up paragraph where I talk about how really if you've got good friends any night out can be a good night. You just need the right vibe and if you've got a strong group it has the potential to be an insane one even if it's a bog standard Wednesday Cindies. (Also ever thought about the fact that moaning about Cambridge night life is actually moaning about nights out with your friends?)*

*Yes, I did end by guilt tripping you into agreeing with me. #realjournalism