REVEALED: Cambridge at fault for Hiddleswift breakup

Cambridge was allegedly the reason Hiddles will never again wear an “I heart TS” shirt in public again. Thank god. 

While rumours have been flying back and forth about the true cause of this summer’s most dramatic breakup (sorry Brexit), apparently it was all down to Cambridge giving Tom Hiddleston a “huge sense of superiority and entitlement”.

Red lip classic thing that he apparently didn’t like that much.

The Emmy-nominated actor and pop superstar went public with their whirlwind romance in June. Despite questioning whether it was all an elaborate publicity stunt, the world followed their relationship from the highs – like Taytay’s famous Fourth of July party – to the lows, most notably Kim Kardashian’s Snapchat slapback over Kanye West’s Famous lyric.

(Not so) new money, suit and tie…

While the couple stayed strong even through Calvin Harris’s intervention, much like that vintage AC Cobra from the Blank Space video, it was all smashed to pieces last week when it was revealed that Swift had apparently dumped Hiddleston because he was desperate for attention. The actor, who was recently crowned Rear of the Year, hit back instantly, claiming that he just got tired of Taylor.

I guess he didn’t care and I guess she didn’t like that

Now, a source has told Celebs Now that it was actually Tom’s posh background that doomed the relationship, saying he would “make Taylor’s team aware of his Eton background and his double first in Classics from Cambridge.”

The Pembroke alumnus reportedly “literally screamed”, “I have a double first from Cambridge, I do actually know what I’m talking about.”

I suppose just screaming “KNEEL” all the time got a bit boring

The source said Tom would say “Why haven’t you booked this?” “Why haven’t you done that?” and “drove us insane sometimes”. It was this “controlling behaviour” which “pushed Taylor to breaking point”.

She wears short skirts. I wear four-hundred-year-old gothic architecture. (Photo: Luke Naylor-Perrott)

So apparently the world can thank Cambridge for Taylor’s next Grammy-winning anthem, whenever it inevitably appears.

Nothing lasts forever, but this was getting good now.