I tried out the new portable showers and they’re actually not that bad

I thought I came to uni, not Glasto

Accommodation brookes campus Clive Booth

One week in and there are already significant issues.

Let's be honest: some of the accommodation in Clive Booth is ancient; you step inside and the smell of decades worth of students hits you. Is it therefore surprising that Brookes is suffering with gas problems?

As a result of the gas issues, those staying in Clive Booth student accommodation have been forced to use portable showers. I wanted to see if they were better than my first year facils, so I tested them out.

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Not Terrible…

Getting to the Showers: 2/10

My first realisation about showering outside was that anyone in Clive is going to have to walk to these showers. A slight breeze is going to feel like someone throwing icy water over you the moment you step outside. Also, having to carry all your things: towel, shampoo, conditioner, and hair brush is also going to be a pain in the arse.

Opening the door, the first thing I saw in these showers was mud. Since students have to walk there, this is understandable, however stepping onto a dirty floor to get clean seems a bit counter intuitive and was reminiscent of seaweed brushing up against you on holiday.

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Feel my pain

Other questions include: where I can keep my belongings? Are they likely to get soaked? Or nicked?

Conveniently, there is a folding chair attached to the wall (pictured above) that you can put your stuff on. There are also several hooks on the back of the door, so none of your possessions have to touch the floor. There is also a shower curtain to prevent any possible splashing.

Temperature: 9/10

I really really didn't want a cold shower. As I approached, I saw the controls to operate the shower only had two options: "on" and "off". You can turn the dial to increase the pressure but other than that, I had no idea what the temperature of the water would be.

The likelyhood of a cold shower seemed to increase with my dread to turn it on. Thankfully, it was just the right amount of scalding to warm my cold heart. Even the pressure was good, brilliant actually; arguably better than what I'd had last year in Clive.

Functionality: 6/10

At this moment in time the showers work well. There's a sink and a mirror, so you can shave and/or do your make up, although this does get a bit harder after you've showered due to the steam. If you do decide to shave, firstly, consider that someone else may have sat naked on the seat and most importantly, have the common decency to get rid of any hair you leave behind. Geez.

Privacy: 7/10

It's weird having to walk outside your home just to wash and it's certainly not a nice thought thinking about just how many students will have to use these showers until the gas is sorted. That being said, the showers themselves offer a decent level of privacy. The doors can be locked and the shower curtains are opaque. Bare in mind that if you choose to sing you will be gracing Clive with your voice.

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Your shower singing is now a concert

Overall: 7.5/10

To be honest, I feel robbed. These are leagues better than the Clive Booth non-suite I had last year.

It sucks there's no hot water, and it sucks even more that you have to walk to the showers only to have to share them with hundreds of others, but Brookes are doing what they can. Just don't forget anything, because if you can't get hold of a mate (who will inevitably hold it over you), you're fucked.

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Actually impressed