How to cope with being ill at uni

After Freshers Flu, you hope you don’t get any kind of infection for the remainder of the year. Unfortunately, bugs don’t care who you are, they make you sick regardless.

These things can be managed, mitigated, controlled, but not altogether avoided. Much like a 3am fire alarm in Clive Booth, or the feeling when you have to take the U1 to Wheatley, they are just unavoidable parts of life. Here are a few key tip for surviving the onslaught of blood, sweat and tears:

Painkillers are key

The placebo affect is a wonderful thing. Just the act of taking a couple of little white pills three times a day can make you feel better simply for the doing, while having the added bonus of actually acting on the pain you are in. Way to go, science. Buy yourself something pretty.

Do drugs not drugs

Fever can be a unfortunate part of any disease beyond a sniffle. Rigors, the feeling of hot and cold shakes, can leave you feeling worse than a third year a week before their dissertation is due. Ensure you have access to cold water, cloths and a bed. Or, if you live in Chatèau Cheney, have your handmaid preform the task.

Get your flatmates to look after you

You don’t want Posh Nosh when you know it’s going to come up an hour later. Have a housemate bring a small stockpile of bread and butter ready for toasting, and maybe a can of soup. Hydration is key. Maccas can wait, your BLT from the sports bar will still be available in a few days, but both will give some small satisfaction and then a lot of regret.

Look forward to a post fuzzies kebab later, eat this now

Keep positive. You now have a legitimate excuse for not doing that essay that’s due in week, or attending the seminar where the only thing worse than the teaching in the enforced interaction with people you can’t stand; “Oh sorry, I can’t discuss the importance of the letter S in the cold war, I’m too busy dying, BYE!”. Enjoy your enforced vegetation. You earned it.

Call your mum

Housemates are meant to be abused in this situation. Find the nicest one and bend they to your semi-delirious will. Who else is going to make the toast? Worst comes to worst, you can always call mum and dad and milk them for all the sympathy they’re worth. Feel the comfort of their words as they tell you to ‘look after yourself first, your degree second’ and how they can barely cope that their baby is away from home and ILL, with no one to look after them. The doctor isn’t necessary. Much like a wet blue paper towel was the panacea of junior school, sleep cures all ills in uni.