What boys should wear to a Brookes night out

Whether you care about your appearance or not, I don’t particularly care.

The truth of the matter is that we live and go to university in a city that is historically and internationally known for being the classy gentleman’s living area.

So here’s what to wear for every Brookes night out in Oxford.

Bridge 

For starters, MNB and Eskimo, no matter what way you look at it, are Brookes’ capital nights out for dressing up. Which is why I shake my head in disapproval when I see so many oversized-jumpers, simple t-shirts and even, yes, shockingly enough, hoodies. And to make matters worse, so many people insist that trainers of any form seem to be a thing to wear to a night such as bridge.

No.

A simple combination of shirts, jeans and Chelsea Boots are all you need to go by to be on the MNB pull. At the very push, a good jumper that shows off your gym-work is adequate. And unless it’s a Yeezy SS 2016, or something of that calibre, t-shirts are a no.

blazer and a simple tee – classic

However, an open shirt with a plain t-shirt underneath that actually goes a long way. All of these are not out your price range. If you really want to try something different, pull out a well-fitted blazer; really make people know that you are dressed to impress that night.

Wahoo 

Wednesday is the one and only, infamous Fuzzy Ducks. Which can only mean one thing, pure filth.

THIS gentlemen, is the night to pull out the trainers and other such garms that should be burnt, baggie jeans and simple tee’s.

Fuzz is messy. No way will that change anytime soon, so from one fashionable guy to an aspiring one, don’t take your best garments out to it.

every part of this article should be burned

Top tip: spend as little time outdoors as possible, to save yourself from possible humiliation – taxi it from door to door, and get there early. Oh, and preferably wear your Fuzzy tops – not only does it separate the boys from the men, but it identifies the ducklings from the rest of human life.

Emporium

Emporium is the classier event of the week, but we all know that nobody lives up to this expectation. The same goes for Plush, Atik, Varsity and Lola Lo’s – they all constitute into making Oxford what it is. Now, as someone that works in retail and can tell you, there even is a theoretical reason for it. The Oxford Shirt is something that should be in everyone’s cupboards purely because you can purchase them. It’s made for us. Everyone needs to have on average at least three different coloured shirts in their cupboard to effectively live in a city like this.

shirts are essential

And might I add that these need to be washed regularly, and then ironed out before applying. Another important factor is your jeans. Human beings have evolved into now worshiping skinny jeans. We no longer, as a race, see baggy trousers as visually desirable. Please, for the love of all that is right in this world, buy skinny jeans. Or not even skinny jeans, tight fitting jeans will do! Just try the jeans on in the shop before you buy them.

Always remember that anyone can be easy on the eyes; it doesn’t take much, but it’s the simple things gentlemen. This is the difference between a pull and a push away. The difference between a job and being on benefits. And if you don’t believe me, I can swear that it’s worked every time for me.