Bristol lawyer becomes Dancing On Ice loser

D-List Rugby player and former Bristol Law student, Kyran Bracken’s, floundering career has taken a new blow as he was booted off Dancing On Ice last over the weekend.

After a less-than-starry skate to Snow Patrol’s Chasing Cars, Kyran came 5^th in the show as all four judges voted against him in Sunday’s quarter-finals.

Hearing the judges’ negative feedback, Kyran kicked off to the tabloids, moaning: “They don’t reward skill.  I get no credit.  I’m one of the strongest skaters but I’ve been marked down all along”.

Ryan getting ready for his disastrous night on ice

The Irish-born Jack Of All Trades, now 42, came to Bristol aged 18 in 1990.  He graced us with his presence for five years to qualify as a solicitor, while playing for Bristol’s rugby team.

But apparently even a 2:1 in Law from Bristol doesn’t guarantee you a city job – after graduating, he started playing rugby for the Bristol team.

He also made a cameo in Friends – fittingly, in The One With All The Rugby.

A Bristol law degree will leave you on a makeup chair in 20 years

After subbing for England for about ten years, his rugby glory dwindled and poor Kyran turned to Plan C: awkward reality dance shows for washed up celebs.

He found regular employment with Dancing On Ice for a few years – he won in 2007 and hung around making random appearances for the next few years.  But now he’s been kicked out of the show’s last series, who knows where he’ll find new work?

Kyran knows he needs to find a fourth career now…

Still, his website promises that all his odd jobs just show “entrepreneurial spirit” (yeah, that’s what you put on your CV when you’ve got nothing else to say!)

The news will reassure Arts students everywhere that their £9000 a year will get them a fantastic career relevant to their degree.