Campus Stereotypes: Rugger Bugger

“UBRFC, UBRFC!” rings out across the tables of Roo Bar as Jonno downs his third pint of piss.

It’s Wednesday which means only one thing for the boys of the rugby club – social; the sacred night on which all the lads don crumpled shirts, beige chinos which are too tight and the legendary club tie.

The club captain is just coming to the end of the ‘fines’ for the week and is currently humiliating a second year who wrongly thought that his degree had precedence over a game.

The plan this evening is much like every social: get wrecked and wreck anyone who stops you from getting wrecked. #lovedorma.

A familiar Wednesday night sight
Cartoon: Katie Bend

Jonno is a stalwart of UBRFC, propping for the 2s since his first year. Bigger on hits than essays, he’s perilously close to failing his third year. He blames whoever put together his timetable, “Thursday’s recovery day, surely everyone knows that” he tells his tutor.

Despite studying Geography, Jonno can’t distinguish between an ox-bow lake and a volcano, but he can use his colouring pencils to make the line-out moves more vivid.

He’d put his life (and seemingly his degree) on the line for UBRFC and is rumoured to have confessed to last year’s club captain that he’d take a bullet for him.

Whenever the lads bring up the episode he laughs, shrugs and says, “You trying doing a bottle of wine and four between Fortress Dingle and the union, and you might say a thing or two you regret”.

For Jonno, UBRFC is the university experience: last time he got dropped he spent 40 quid on box sets of Friends and Galaxy chocolate.

Jonno is no Casanova, he struggles to talk to girls unless he’s topless and tensing or drunk. Even better: topless and drunk.

He envisages a prom King and Queen relationship for himself and a member of the girl’s netball team. It’s a shame that they were so offended by him accidentally peeing on one of their passed-out team mates at last year’s Score.