What your Aberdeen Uni halls say about you as a person: A comprehensive analysis

It’s the ugly truth


Every student knows that uni halls each attract a very specific personality type. From the lazy messes living in catered and on-campus accommodation to the boujee "I-only-drink-wine-or-whisky" crowd in the en-suite rooms, this article will expose you and all your mates.

There's just no escaping it.

Here's a list of what each hals says about their residents, based on the scientifically sound data of mostly personal anecdotes and wild stereotypes.

Adam Smith

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I can practically smell the TV-room from this picture

Living in catered halls, you tell yourself you want to put all your time into studying and socialising, making the best of your first year, but really you’re just lazy. You also tell yourself the catering is worth the extra money, even though it’s about as cost effective as paying entry to Underground.

At least you can comfort yourself with the knowledge that you’re definitely fun at parties, even if they’re really shit parties in the sweaty TV- room downstairs.

Fyfe

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Same

Part of the prison collective along with Wavell (and Adam Smith, but they’re catered so they’re too fancy for you now). You either chose Fyfe because it was the cheapest option and you don’t care too much about the creeping depression that grey walls and purple decor induce, or you chose it because this is precisely the crappy and "authentic" aesthetic you wanted for your first year. If you’re the latter, I don’t know what to say. Good luck I suppose?

Wavell

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Can make a pretty educated guess that there are instant noodles in that bowl

The same people who live in Fyfe. The only difference is that Wavell kids are smarter since they chose the accommodation just a bit farther away from Adam Smith.

New Carnegie

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Come sit on my double bed

The boujee house. Your en-suite and actually decently decorated room will distract you from your "daddy’s money" flatmates just fine. Hopefully they will also distract you from the fact that you are definitely one of the "daddy’s money" flatmates yourself.

Either way, you’re a person who puts their comfort first and is smart enough to realise that your own toilet just might be the right choice when you’re living in a student village full of first years.

North Court

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Such a beautiful location, such sensible people

You’re a social enough person but a bit of a calmer soul than most. That’s why you chose to live more on the fringes of Hillhead, away from most of the commotion. That’s okay. We get it.

There’s less chance of ending up living with a self-described "legend", "sesh-head", or "mad lad". All round good choice – you’re one of the smart ones.

South House

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We ask you to keep an eye out for any activity around habitats marked with signs such as this one

I’m honestly not sure I’ve ever encountered anyone who lives in South House. If you spot one of these reclusive creatures in the wild, please contact the RSPCA immediately. Thank you for your time.

Grant Court

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A side-by side comparison of Grant Court and Hector Boyce

You may look like a person who has their shit together and makes reasonably good decisions even after downing three bottles of Bucky at pres. But that’s the catch – no one who actually has their shit together would publicly admit to drinking that hell beverage.

You’re always up to date with your laundry, but that’s because you take the 20 minute bus ride back home every few weeks and your mum does it for you. You’re never broke and seem to have your financial affairs in order, but only because you periodically text your dad about paying for the gym membership you don’t use, or the course books you’re not planning to read.

This is why you fit in so well at Grant Court. It looks really good at first glance, but once you arrive to uni and see it in person, you realise it’s actually all just a big lie.

Keith House

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Seriously though, who doesn't have this tapestry?

Not a far cry from the people at Grant Court – you’re just paying a bit more for what’s essentially the same accommodation, so make of that what you will. Don’t worry though, we all still love your silly self.

Hector Boyce

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A picture of a smart person

You’re a well-balanced and reasonable person; going for the low-cost accommodation while still caring enough about yourself not to subject your delicate soul to living in a literal prison in order to save a few pounds. Well done. Keep doing what you’re doing, and you’ll make it through uni just fine.

King’s Hall

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Ah, the (relative) peace and quiet

​You’re someone who enjoys living near other students, but isn’t too keen on waking up in the middle of the night to the various noises a smashed group of freshers makes stumbling their way out of cabs and into their flats to either break an oven attempting to reheat their maccies or have a regrettable shag.

Mostly you’re just here at King’s because those 9am lectures are one of your greatest struggles in life, and living on campus makes the realities of dragging yourself to class at least slightly more bearable.

Elphinstone Road

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This is as far as you'll venture from your front door (your Twitter mentions are more interesting than the outside world anyway)

Like those over at King’s, you enjoy the convenience of living on campus. However, just like them, you can easily get stuck spending all your time within a 10 minute walking distance of your house. This is because if you’re too lazy to take that 20 minute walk to class in the mornings, you’re probably also too lazy to roll out of bed and make your way to a club in the evenings. Just join a society at least, there are some that meet on campus.

Lastly, if you still live at home, congrats on all your savings. Just remember to move out at some point, yeah?