Things in our Brighton student houses that just make sense

We jumped on the TikTok challenge

Although the obsession with TikTok trends may seem far away in our lockdown past, this hasn’t stopped students from all over the country sarcastically posting on TikTok about strange and unexplainable things in their uni house that ‘just make sense’.

We all know that renting at uni is an experience, to say the least, with tonnes of surprises when move-in day arrives. Even more so, the uni house becomes a deathtrap the longer you live in it and each day students make peace with the fact that their deposits are going out of the window. We gathered a compilation of things in our Brighton student houses that just don’t make sense. Enjoy.

Left-over Christmas/Halloween Decorations

What uni house is complete without eerie Christmas or Halloween decorations from the year before? Mementos from a night filled with Aldi mulled wine and Lidl pigs-in-blankets to appreciate all year round.

Broken appliances that the landlord PROMISES will get fixed (but never actually do)

Every student house has at least two inventory appliances that ‘just make sense’ – these may include: broken fridges, dodgy microwaves and limescale-ridden kettles. For example, this 1950s ‘Hotpoint’ oven and hob (fitted for a 9 bedroom house) that lacks timescale markings and comes with a complementary broken handle. On and off are now your only options.

‘Funky’ furnishings that were definitely snapped up for a couple of quid 

We’ve all got funky (cheap) furniture that landlords have been accumulating from skips and pound-shops throughout the years. Insert here: the ugliest green toilet seat you’ve ever seen. N.B. landlord quoted “it was £3.50 at Bargain Buys”. We love a good deal.

Random holes in furniture that ‘just make sense’ 

Did your rowdy flatmate get too pissed and punch a hole in the coffee table? Or did the last tenants leave it there as a little welcome surprise? All you can assume is it’ll take a hefty chunk out of your deposit.

The Henry Hoover that’s been around for centuries and just doesn’t work

Everyone has that one flatmate that swears they can fix the broken appliances, even when it’s obvious it has never worked properly. I mean, Henry’s pretty and red but if he can’t vacuum what’s his purpose?

you look how I feel

The conservatory that houses the dishwasher yet isn’t attached to the house 

Student houses with dishwashers are like gold dust – but what good is a dishwasher when you have to walk through the rain with your plates to get to its little mildew-covered home in the ‘conservatory’?

 The trolley in the garden, staple of any student house

No one knows where they came from or how they got there, but one thing is for certain – students live at that address. Picked up on a drunken alcohol trip to Lewes Road Aldi with broken promises of ‘we’ll use it in the future’, it remains in your garden until it is rusted and broken beyond use.

So there we have some of the most questionable features of Brighton’s student housing scene. Whether it’s holes in the furniture or outdoor dishwashers, we can all agree that they don’t make much sense at all.