I spent a whole day at uni completely drunk: Here’s what I learned

Being drunk in your 9am seminar is NOT the one


Have you ever fondly thought back on your drunk self and realised that it surpasses your regular self in all aspects of life? When you're drunk, you're less shy, better looking and 10 times cooler. All your problems disappear, all you want is to have fun with your friends (or randomers who become your friends for the night because why not) and celebrate life.

Basically, why ever be sober when you could just be drunk? I decided to find an answer to this question by spending a full day doing what I always do: lectures, seminars, society meetings – but all under the influence of alcohol. It was an experience.

Drunk lectures and seminars are like a strange dream

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I don't even look the most drunk and THAT's what uni is about

Disclaimer: if you try this you probably won't remember ANYTHING you learned that day.

Getting past the notion of drinking alcohol for breakfast instead of your morning coffee is already difficult enough (I recommend a gin and tonic, but if your stomach isn't ready for that, cider should be safe), but combined with a 9am in a stuffy lecture hall? Your chances of survival are slim at best.

Seminars however, will become your time to shine. When you're drunk at a seminar – regardless of how shy you are usually – you feel almost obligated to raise your hand and answer every question. Every single one. Even the ones you know nothing about. Yes, you may embarrass yourself a bit, but you'll have a great time doing it.

You will inevitably be judged by EVERYONE

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There's wine in that Costa cup, I'm not kidding

Or at least you'll think they're judging you. There's something about being drunk in broad daylight that just makes you assume everyone knows. If they don't know, you'll gladly tell them after your fourth glass of wine.

Some will find it funny, some might even respect you a bit more because even though you're drunk, you're a functioning adult. Others? Others will give you a dubious look, pause a little and ask: "But… why? Why are you doing this to yourself?" You probably won't be able to answer that question. Just ignore the haters and pour up.

You will spend a lot of money…

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Me being hella unimpressed with the bra selection at M&S

Going clothes shopping when you're drunk as fuck and already way too deep into your overdraft for it to ever be okay? Great idea! Going to Kebab Rush three times and also ordering £15 worth of Deliveroo straight to the William Morris building? I mean, food is fuel. Getting an Uber everywhere you go? Well, what else are you supposed to do? Walk? Never.

It's okay, the money you spend when drunk doesn't count.

…and make a lot of bad decisions

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2nd bottle of wine by 2pm? Hit me UP

By the time the sun starts setting, you will have convinced at least one of your closest friends to go out. In my case, this involved messaging about 15 different Warwick students in hopes of getting them to sell me an extremely overpriced ticket to POP! – Warwick Uni's sweaty & sticky weekly student night. I don't know why I wanted it okay, 12 hours of alcohol has weird effects.

If you too choose to spend the day drunk, beware that by this point you will have misplaced several of your possessions, such as your student ID, phone and any last shred of your dignity. However, you will be too busy having the time of your life to notice any of this happening, so that's a plus.

What happens next, you ask?

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After spending 24 hours drunk while trying to live through a regular Wednesday, I woke up still not quite sober and drowning in deadlines. Still, somehow the memories of the previous day were some of my best and I felt great overall. Until I went to see my boyfriend who promptly broke up with me. And then the hangover kicked in.

Moral of the story? Yes, being drunk is super fun and makes literally any experience worth living through. Spending an entire day drinking can be the most fun you will have in your LIFE. However, all good things must come to an end, apparently. Do you want to spend 24 hours with every bad thing shrouded in a beautiful layer of wine and pure bliss? Well then I've got news for you.

The hangover that will inevitably rear its ugly head the next day will – more than any other you've ever had – be an absolute bitch.