That’s plenty Strathy: Campus pet peeves

When term starts again, everyone at Strathy will have to face the unbearable awfulness of these recurring problems.

None can be arsed with them and they annoy us to the point of madness every single day.

It’s impossible to study at the tech and not be constantly pissed off, irritated and irked by these things.

The Hills

Strathy is infamous and hated for them. At unnaturally steep angles, going down is often just as bad as struggling up.

Nothing else makes you realise just how unfit you actually are.

Especially when that one pal talks during the devastating ascent while you’re unable to distribute oxygen equally enough to hold conversation.

The Hill of Ultimate Death.

There’s always that one athlete who shuttle-sprints up and down, making half of us stare in disbelief while the other half just thinks he’s a tosser and show-off.

It never seems to get any easier, but it can always get worse, like when the winter ice arrives and it’s game over.

Livvy Tower

Waiting for the lifts is a major source of anxiety and when the doors open a cattle-truck load of the sweaty herd all push to get in.

Can hold a max of 16 persons? Try five.

One day you’re tired of waiting and decide to take the stairs. This decision is immediately regrettable, it’s like a claustrophobic stone maze that leads straight to hell.

So Soviet

The Library 

As if those hills and mordor-like stairs weren’t enough, actually getting into the library is another story. Meet the card scanners: your mortal enemy for the next four years.

Getting in without a hitch is a bigger fluke than skateboarders – who’ve messed up a trick – landing serenely on their board and rolling to safety.

Strathclyde customs

You’d think the more you swipe your card, the more chance of getting in – wrong. There’s a 99.9 per cent probability you’ll be stared at like a criminal when it doesn’t work.

One friend said: “I’ve never been to the USA, but I imagine customs is similar to getting in to the library.”

Don’t expect the Dewey library system being easy or even intelligible to use as well.

And if you’re looking for a comfortable floor, forget it. It’s never the right temperature: freeze or burn, the choice is yours.  

 Wifi and Pegasus

Whether it’s Eduroam or Strathwifi it never, ever works – ever. Universities are meant to be super high-tech and ultra connected to lightning-quick internet all the time. This feels more like a throwback the days of the dial-up tone.

And the worst part is while you’re left stuck with 3G on your phone and all the computers are taken, you know full well someone’s on Netflix or pissing about on Youtube.

Those cables

Myplace

It took the whole of first year to learn how it works and some things you still can’t find. Oh, and you’ll be logged out every 10 minutes.

Most lecturers can’t use it properly, so all those tight deadlines mean you’ll get grades back three months later, probably without feedback.

Aside from these things though, Strathy is a sweet deal.

What about the beasting wall murals? We’re right in the middle of town, we’ve just built a world-class £90m Technology and Innovation Centre, and we were named UK university of the year in 2012.

And always remember, it could be much much worse, you could be a Glasgow uni wanker.

This is what really matters