St Andrews 1st XI vs Aberdeen 1st XI

The Seagulls recorded their first victory of the season on Wednesday, absolutely steamrolling a distinctly average Aberdeen side on the hallowed turf of University Park. After being routed on Sunday by the shit lads that are Edinburgh, the Saints were looking to bounce back with a strong performance. And bounce back they did.  

Aberdeen skipper Josh Stinson called the toss correctly and took the decision to bat first on a typical St Andrews greentop. This proved to be a mistake of cataclysmic proportions with Rafnas and Ali Stokes settling into a great rhythm. It was our aged post grad Rafnas who made the first breakthrough, castling their opener with a wicked inducker. He then picked up another with a one that nipped through the gate before our giraffe-like fresher Stokes joined the party and bowled their opener (sporting a pony tail Ben Reiss would have been proud of). Rafnas bowled 10 thrifty overs picking up 2-14 whilst our fresher was relatively expensive with 1-15 off 5. ‘Junkie Pete’ Greene, so named due to his love of all things Class A, then entered the attack, no doubt psyched by the bump he took just before going onto the field. In between bowling leg stump half volleys, the boy from Hull bowled a tight spell and claimed 5-18 off 6.3 overs. A fine return to the side.  

After Rafnas completed his 10 over spell, we were delighted to unleash the beast of Mitch Collins, returning from injury, for his first bowl in Scotland. He bowled two or three overs of raw pace with Starkey, Wardle and Kneale salivating/staining underwear at the prospect of a snick behind the wicket. He did indeed pick up a wicket for his endeavours, juggled at backward point by our other token fresher Sahil Rikhye. Such was our dominance star legspinner Sam Holland wasn’t required, and instead was the definition of a TFC.

Aberdeen were bowled out for 53. A truly stunning effort from the boys in St Andrews. After a quick turnaround, openers TJ Beattie and Stephen ‘Beat up the Beat’ Ditchfield strode to the crease knowing the job was still only half done. They started well, putting on a stand of 30 or so before Ditch was trapped LBW for 3. A generous promotion by Captain Jake Starkey meant Ed Kneale got some practice in the middle and it was he who scored the winning runs with a pull for 4. TJ in particular batted with great poise and his driving and pulling was a sight to behold. His driving and pulling abilities in non-cricket relating activities are terrible however, although he did once manage to feed a pony on the Lizdard dance floor.

Apologies for the short match report, but it was a short game due to our greatness. We were done by 4 o’clock and had a night of revelry. Booyah.