TAB VS FOOD: The Orange Rooms Burger Challenge

Could we ‘beat the meat’?


Almost exactly one year ago, we took on SUSU’s Bar Three Braveheart challenge and failed miserably. When Orange Rooms unveiled their new menu, we were given the perfect excuse to redeem ourselves.

As part of Orange Rooms’ delicious burger range, they offer the ‘Challenge Burger‘. It comes in at a hefty £17.95, but offers a lot of bang for its buck. This monstrous creation contains:

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Two 6oz Moo Moo beef patties, Nacho Chicken Strippers, melted mozzarella cheese, homemade chilli, rashers of crispy bacon, nacho chips & crispy onion rings. On top of this, you must take down a double helping of regular and sweet potato fries.

There is no explicit time limit for this challenge, but the staff informed us that anywhere under 20 minutes was an impressive time. Finishing the meal within such a time also came with a trophy, in the form of an ‘I Beat The Meat’ t-shirt.

Four of us set out to complete the challenge, the memory of the Braveheart failure still stinging, redemption just a burger away. So how did we get on?

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Our preparation methods had varied. I had watched hours of eating videos on YouTube, and was hoping to emulate Furious Pete and Matt Stonie by ploughing through in record time. Some of us hadn’t eaten at all that day, others had enjoyed small breakfasts and plenty of fluids.

The meals arrived and we were confronted by our foes. The burger was roughly the size of my head (I have a REALLY big head), and the mountains of chips leered at us from their containers. We started a timer, and got stuck in.

CELS5382-minMy tactic was to take down the burger as quickly as possible, leaving the chips until the end. I got stuck into the top layer of the burger, including some of the chilli, the nachos and one of the beef patties. The food itself was actually very tasty, well cooked and flavourful. Given the time I would have liked to have enjoyed it more slowly, but speed was of the essence here.

With the first layer down I moved onto the next beef patty, the onion rings, and finally the chicken strips. Again all the components were delicious, we had absolutely no complaints about the quality of the food.

IVXN9152-minI managed to finish the burger in just under 6 minutes. My competitors looked on in sheer disgust, but I pushed through the self-hatred and moved onto the chips.

The most effective tactic here was balling a handful of chips up and cramming them into my mouth. By ‘most effective’ I of course mean ‘fastest’. I would not recommend this method on a date, or when trying to impress your partner’s parents.

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Sips of water helped to make the mouthfuls more digestible. The sweet potato fries were tasty but rich, requiring a little more effort in the later stages. By this point I was standing up to aid the swallowing process, hunched over the table like a hyena ripping into a zebra carcass. This was not a pretty sight, but I was so close to finishing.

I finished just over the 10 minute mark. Our waiter was a mixture of stunned, impressed and horrified, and my competitors were much the same.

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Having finished first I was able to survey the scene and take stock of what had just happened. My comrades battled on nobly, fighting through what at times looked like genuine agony. The second of us finished just shy of 15 minutes, another highly respectable effort. The third finished just before the 20 minute mark, drenched in ketchup and shame.

Of the four of us who attempted the challenge, only one failed. He blamed his lack of any food earlier that day, and looked like he was about to break down both physically and mentally as he stared at his remaining chips, utterly defeated.

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As I had finished it the fastest, I took first place and the t-shirt. Would I do it again? Absolutely. The food itself was delicious, and the mixture of shame and pride you get upon finishing is an interesting, hard-to-come-by experience. The staff were very friendly, and even if you don’t feel up to the challenge there are plenty of lighter options. Redemption, thy name is Challenge Burger.