Sex Survey: Your Embarrassing Confessions

We received over 300 embarrassing sex stories from our survey, mostly all about being walked in on by a family member or housemate, sticking it in the wrong hole and doing stuff at the wrong time of the month, but here’s some of the best.

On the second night of freshers all of my flat mates and the flat next door walked in on us having sex and took pictures, we just carried on.

A girl stole my phone while I was f****** her and texted my mum saying “don’t worry Mum, I’m using protection”.

A third year hadn’t had sex since semester 1 of his first year, and when I took pity on him to end his drought he could not complete the task in question.

I was photographed giving head to a guy in Jesters and the photo went viral. It was pretty funny actually, I’ve always wanted to be a porn star and now I have some credentials!

I once had sex with a girl and didn’t break her pelvis. Awkward as I have a reputation to keep.

Being chucked out from Reflex by a bouncer for having sex in the toilets.

Being far too drunk to balance properly, I went to lower myself onto my boyfriend’s penis, cowgirl style and I lost my footing, landed awkwardly and literally broke his willy. He couldn’t have sex for a very long time and I was slightly mortified…

Being fingered in front of Jesters.

Being unable to maintain an erection after too many Jesticles.

Being walked in on by the room inspection ladies in Halls.

I brought a girl home who decided to have a shave with my housemate’s razor.

I got cramp in my thigh while jizzing and fell off the bed.

Dad almost walked in, he thought there was an animal somewhere squeaking. It was my bed. Pretty swift thinking on my part to convince him he was hearing things.

My first boyfriend thrusting away for a good ten minutes before I had to stop him and explain “it isn’t in, I’ve still got my pants on…”

Getting pulled out of the Union toilets with an onlooking crowd.

Got with a 0 out of 10… twice.

I had to do the walk of shame not realising I had cum on my face, social jumper and my hair. Vile.

Having been at a house party I had wooed a girl, there were no beds left in the house so we took the bathroom. At roughly 4am I had a sudden urge to do a poo, unfortunately I couldn’t find my boxers fast enough, so looked the girl in the eye, apologised and did the business in the toilet 3 feet from her face.

Having sex on my ex’s bed with someone else… then she walks in.

I accidentally took a breath while I was swallowing so it came out of my nose.

I found my Mum’s Karma Sutra book.

I pulled someone at Sobar, brought them back, she looked around the room and asked “Haven’t we done it before?”.

I had sex with a women’s’ rugby player.