Eight things that make you feel old as a Newcastle student

For a very niche (or elderly) audience


There’s no feeling quite like the nostalgia you hold for your first year in university. If you’re currently in your first year – savour it. Everyone else, how is your second or third year in comparison? Quiet, I’ll tell you that. Every year, new freshers come in and learn the ways of the Toon and we all shift down a notch in the hierarchy of relevance. I miss the Newcastle I met in 2019. She saw me go through hell and back.

If you’re like me and constantly live in both awe and disgust of your previous antics having been here way too long, then some of these might just ring a bell.

Missing the price of three trebs in Dog & Parrot

Does anyone else remember three trebs for £6? The glory days. My card and I still aren’t used to the £9 charge every time I pay for a round. Cost of living crisis and whatnot.

When Sam Fender turned on the Christmas lights and nobody knew who he was

Not going to lie, I definitely skipped the Christmas Light switch on in 2019 because I’d never heard of Sam Fender before. Seemed irrelevant. Pretty irking seeing how he’s now drinking pints with the likes of Johnny Depp.


RIP blackboard. I still never fully worked out how to use you and there was that weird time where we had our courses split over two softwares and had to navigate both you and Canvas simultaneously. Freshers today will never know your true glory.


Tuesday nights spent navigating the depths of Florita’s, Madame Koo’s and House of Smith were the highlight of my week. I miss the secret internal doors that definitely weren’t a secret but I was just too drunk to remember where they were. And the inflatables that everyone stuffed up their tops on the way out. We left halls with a whole zoo.

The grey lion on your smartcard

Rumour has it that Newcastle Uni have scrapped the grey lion that spruced up the boring white background on our smartcards. I’m defo keeping mine and sticking it on Depop in twenty years as vintage memorabilia.

Remembering when you didn’t have to book in advance for a night out

Since when did we start paying in advance to get into Soho? It literally took my flat until 9pm on the day to organise a pres in first year so there’s no chance I’d ever make it in time for first or even second release tickets for Swingers these days. How are you all so organised?

‘Are they going out in this cold wearing that?’

Gone are the days I battled the bitter northern winds in the Toon in nothing but black jeans and a lacy piece of cloth. I just cannot hack it, no matter how thick of an alcohol blanket I have. Granny cardi’s are the way forward.

The old Cite Them Right page

How have I been at uni long enough for them to actually change the Cite Them Right page? What the fook is going on.

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