Robbo Rules: Newcastle library etiquette
Here to educate the uneducated
As the workload increases and deadlines edge ever the nearer, many of us are heading to the warm (or not so warm) library to try to cope with our work load at all hours of the day.
Upon studying myself in the Robbo or the Marj, I have noticed that some have simply forgotten the simple etiquette that one needs to ensure a hard working and worthwhile study sesh. So, here are the unwritten rules to studying in the library.
Always make sure that you discuss with your friend in ‘a loud whisper’ (that is, basically talking at a normal volume) in the silent study section about the previous night’s rowdy events. This is so that fellow bookworms realise that, in fact, you are a legend, who can effortlessly go out to Trop or Swingers, despite the ever increasing work load that mounts in the build up to exams or the holidays.
When studying in the silent study sections, always make sure that you either leave you phone on loud or vibrate on the table to make sure those around you know you have friends and are very popular.
Remember to answer your ringing phone while still in the silent study section, and don’t wait until you are in the stairwell, because that’s just for people who don’t want to disturb the peace and quiet or the hard working others that surround them.
If you want to make your stay in the library less formal, remove your shoes, relax and don’t be put off by the thought your feet might smell, they probably don’t. People really don’t mind, honestly. I’ve heard that the smell of stilton-esque toes is meant to enhance memory – great for everyone’s exams!
On the theme of feet, always make sure you stretch out as far as you can into the person opposites space to assert your dominance and to prove that you are not as small as everyone keeps saying.
You’ve got to fuel your hardworking brain, so why not head down to the café, buy a sandwich or toastie and bring it back to where your working, eating it at your desk so you don’t waste any time. The most popular food item seems to be a tuna melt, or egg and cress; you have to get a pungent smelling sandwich to assert your dominance over your corner, showing that you are not one to be messed with because you truly do not give a shit about those around you.
If you don’t fancy bread for lunch, other great options are snacks such as crisps or popcorn. Hell, why not go all out and treat yourself to some pork crackling. Anything that is loud when you chew is great, and you get extra points for chewing with your mouth open.
Public Displays of Affection
Now, some might think that PDA is not something that others want to see when they’re stressed or going about their daily lives. To them, I say, have you not been to the library before? If you are a couple, make sure you start making out in reception right by the doors to the stairs so everyone can see that you are in love and aren’t afraid to show it. If you ever want to PDA, the Robbo is the place to do it.
Some can study with the sound of sweet music in their ears, however some cannot. To inspire others, simply play heavy metal, or some banging techno beats as loud as you can in your headphones, so others can hear as there is so much background music to drown out in the SILENT study section.
If you arrive before the masses at half nine, or earlier, make sure you save a space for your friend that tends to enjoy a lie in so they can swan in at half 10 without having to awkwardly circle round looking for a free desk when there are none. This helps them beat the space race, and means those pesky people that arrive early enough to get a seat can keep walking! Well done you.
So there you go. Eat food as smelly as your feet, be as loud as possible and jump on your library boyfriend/girlfriend at every opportunity.