I tried the ‘Baby Food Diet’ for five days and it was gaga

People trying to feed me whilst making airplane noises was a highlight

I know baby food looks abhorrent but I had always wondered what it tastes like. Well, Joey and Phoebe seem to love it, so I thought I’d step up as guinea pig and take a crack at the new craze in dieting. Move aside Bootea, there’s a new playa in town, and he smells like watery salad.

Day 1

The rules are simple, you can eat up to fourteen jars/sachets of baby food throughout the day and one normal meal (I’m not saying you can go to the pizza hut buffet for lunch, just something ‘balanced’) and only drink water or black tea. The baby food is very low in fat but fairly high in nutrients so supposedly you’re not starving yourself.

I went to the shop and stocked up. Not chuffing cheap (about £1 per portion) but no one gets a body like Kim K without spending a few benjamins.

I had already eaten breakfast and lunch so for dinner it was baby food with a side of baby food. I tried the Cow and Gate jar of apple and pear. Whilst it was bearable, by jar three I felt like I felt like my tastebuds might have died of a broken heart or dropped off from a lack stimulation.

Day 2

For breakfast I tried a sachet called Pears Pears Pears by Ella’s Kitchen. It was so amazing, I made the following note of my phone:

I would say that Ella’s Kitchen is a god send, but I was very hungry after having three sachets of Strawberry and Banana for lunch so had a naughty stir fry for my dinner. By about eleven my stomach was furious with me so I ate a slice of plain bread in desperation.

Day 3

Added to the list of flavours I will eat again was Peaches and Bananas by Ella’s Kitchen. I thought I knew true love with Pears, Pears, Pears but I was wrong. This was love. I let my flatmate try and she was converted and we went to the shop so she could get her own sachet:

Day 4

I treated myself to Pears Pears Pears for breakfast.

For lunch I had salad…and maybe just a little tiny pumpkin spiced soy latté.

I am vegan so couldn’t eat the meaty baby foods (such a shame). But that aside the idea of savoury flavours like “cheese pie” made me want to have a little cry. Mushy, cold cheese pie. I think just eating the sweet flavours is doable, but I wanted to be a bit more adventurous so went for Broccoli, Pears and Peas. Kind of tastes what I’ve always imagined poo tastes like. Ate three of them.

Day 5

I had the apple jars, eight of them. It surprised me how full this made me. The apple taste is a relief after the peas last night, and I find myself enjoying them a lot more than the first day. If I were to carry this diet on, I reckon it would get easier over time. Sadly though, I really really love chips and I’m not willing to find out.

For dinner that night I had super noodles and sorbet. I was back to the good old me.

The Verdict

Whilst I did loose weight over the course of the five days, I feel as though this is not something I could ever keep up. For the ladies and gents who have five days to fit into a sexy Halloween outfit, its perfect. But I suspect you’ll be back to your old (beautiful) self in no time once you remember how much you love pasta.

On the bright side, I now have Pears Pears Pears and Peaches and Bananas sachets in my life, and I am eternally grateful.